All This for a Clone?
by Lashana Inferno
Summary: Ah the insanity never ends. Seems that someone's gone and made a clone of Telca. Why? Gods only know. But it's up to Lashana and a small gang of Harem Guys to go save it from....the Predacons!
1. Whose turn is it to subdue the fridge?

_Disclaimer: We own nothing but ourselves and our Ideas. That is all._

_For those of you who are avid Beast Wars fans (like me!) this fic is placed just before 'Code of Hero'. So Dinobot's not dead yet (thank any and all the Gods) and he hasn't been cloned yet either (thanking the Gods again). Thus that means that no one has reached transmetal two status (which is good, cuz I thought some of them looked downright ugly)_

_For those of you who aren't avid Beast Wars fans..........What's the matter with you?!?!?!_

_Words between ~ ~ are telepathic thoughts. Don't look at me like that, we've got a psychic pokemon in the gang! It's not my fault I tell you!_

**Important Note : I honestly do not remember where I was going with this, but since Lady Dementia kept telling me that I should upload what I had written... y'all can blame the fact that it's not finished on her ^_^' *ducks various flying objects* Anywho, I'll try to get around to belting out the rest of this long-winded thing... if I get enough reviews to encourage me to do so *pointed look* Ah well, on with the fic I suppose....**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  


_BANG! CRASH! BANG! CRASH! SCREEEECH! THUD!_

"Oh Gods....wha tha hell's tha?" Lashana groaned as she rose her head off her pillow, bleerily peering around the bedroom and grimacing at the lack of sunlight. _It's not even sunrise yet... what the hell's goin on?!_ _Oh screw it....._ Determined not to let the lure of sleep elude her, she yanked the blankets over her head and snuggled closer to her still-sleeping Bonded, molding herself to him for both warmth and comfort. _Nothing short of a nuclear bomb could wake him up at this time of the morning....lucky bastard...._

_BANG! CRASH! THUMP! CRASH! SPLAT!_

_That was a new one...._

The warm body next to her shifted to pull her close so he could bury his face in her hair, exhaling slowly before he spoke. "L'shana? Wha's goin on?" 

_My Bonded. He's about as coherant as I am....._ "Dunno. Don't care. Ignoring." 

"Kay..." There was a pause, then the low rumbles of snores started again. 

_CRASH! SCREEEECH! BANG! THUD!_

She frowned and buried her face against Blackwargreymon's neck, grasping at the edges of sleep as if it was the only thing that could keep her alive.... 

_THUMP! CRASH! SPLAT! BANG!_

....and growled lowly. "Something_ DIES!_" 

The sound of someone snarling death threats in his ear forced Blackwargreymon to be more awake than he actively wanted to be, and he blinked dazedly as he rose his head to look at his Bonded. "If you wanted me to wake up, you could have just asked." 

Lashana froze and met his gaze apologeticly. "Sorry, hun. But there's something-" 

_CRASH! THUD! SCREEEECH!_

"--keeping me awake," she finished lamely as his worried gaze darted to their bedroom door. 

"Do tell..." 

_BANG! SCREEEECH! BANG! SCREEEEECH!_

"LASHANA!!!" 

The Elf groaned at the yell from the bedroom next door and rose herself to slam a fist against the wall. "It isn't us you pervert!!!" 

"Oh. Nevermind!" 

_Stupid braindead immortals.... _"Stupid braindead immortals....." 

Blackwargreymon glanced at her. "You're repeating yourself." 

"I wouldn't be if you weren't listening in on my thoughts," she muttered sharply. A low sigh escaped her when she saw his expression, and she immediately curled her arms around his neck, snuggling close once again as he automaticly returned the embrace. "Sorry, love." 

_CRASH! BANG! SCREEEEECH! CRASH! SCREEEECH!_

"Um....Lashana?" Duncan yelled from his bedroom again. 

The Digimon snarled loudly, forced to answer for the Elf since she was currently trying to burrow into his arms. "What is it, Duncan?!" 

"Whose turn is it to subdue the fridge?" 

Lashana growled and pulled away from Blackwargreymon, pausing to pull on a pair of socks before climbing out of bed and stomping over to the closet. "I'll take care of it!" 

"Do I even want to know what's going on?" Blackwargreymon asked as he watched her pull on her favorite black housecoat before she knelt and reached for something under the bed. 

"Probably not. Now where the hell.... Ah! There it is!" 

He paled when she straightened, a heavy-duty metal baseball bat in her hands. _Gods have mercy on whoever she's going after...._ "You're not going to put Zelgadis' head through a wall again...are you?" 

"Nope. I've got bigger things to fry," she grinned, showing her fangs as she walked over to his side of the bed and gave him a quick kiss. "Go back to sleep." 

"You sure you don't need any help?" he frowned as she headed out the door, the baseball bat leaning against her right shoulder. 

She winked and closed the door, raising her voice so he'd be able to hear her through the wood. "Nope. Got it handled." 

Blackwargreymon shifted slightly to stare at the door. _Big choice here: Go back to sleep... or follow my Bonded - who's got that disturbing insane look in her eyes - into Goddess knows what.... Hmm..... Sleep it is!!_

"I heard that! The Bond works boths ways y'know!!" 

He winced. "Crap." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

_BANG! SCREEEECH! BANG! SCREEEEECH!_

"I so need a vacation," Lashana murmured under her breath as she padded down the dark staircase, not bothering to search for the light-switch. Months of living in the Palace had sharpened all her senses....the need for self preservation does that to a person... _Especially when Xellos goes into one of his glomping fits... ugh..._

She hoped down the last five stairs and landed in a semi-crouch, peering through the dimness at the mangled swinging door that led to the Kitchen. _Dammit. Kenshin just finished repainting that last week!!_ Now throughly annoyed, she stood and stalked down an ajacent hallway, her right hand tightening around the baseball bats grip as a fireball flickered into existance in the palm of her free hand. 

With a resigned sigh, she kicked open the door that connected the dining room to the hallway and lept inside......   
  



	2. Morning Rituals...Aka Where's My Coffee?

_Disclaimer: We own nothing but ourselves and our Ideas. That is all._

_For those of you who are avid Beast Wars fans (like me!) this fic is placed just before 'Code of Hero'. So Dinobot's not dead yet (thank any and all the Gods) and he hasn't been cloned yet either (thanking the Gods again). Thus that means that no one has reached transmetal two status (which is good, cuz I thought some of them looked downright ugly)_

_For those of you who aren't avid Beast Wars fans..........What's the matter with you?!?!?!_

_Words between ~ ~ are telepathic thoughts. Don't look at me like that, we've got a psychic pokemon in the gang! It's not my fault I tell you!_   
  


"What the hell happened?!" Telca screamed half an hour later as she walked into the Kitchen, heading straight for the Elf that was sipping a mug of coffee while leaning against the counter. "Isn't it bad enough that the lot of us got woken up by that freaky banging-screeching thing? Did you have to start blowing up the dining room too?! And what the hell happened to the fridge?!" 

Lashana smirked. "I reminded it that it's not allowed to leave." 

Telca groaned at looked at the appliance, noting the numerous dents, scratches and burn marks on it... as well as a fist shaped hole that seemed to have punched right through the door. "Again?! That's the third time this week!" 

"I told you! The leftover's have a mind of their own!" Lashana said, glaring at the fridge when a slimy coleslaw and ham concocted tendril slithered out of the hole she had made in the door. "Hey! Don't make me smack you with the bat again! Get back inside!" 

"And you'd better not have destroyed the chocolate cake I had in there!" Telca added vemonously as the tendril retreated. 

"Considering that it was alternating between hopping and dragging it's way out of here, I'd say it's a pretty fair bet that there's not much edible in there anymore.... not that there ever was..." the Elf sighed as she took another sip of her coffee. "Methinks we need a new fridge." 

~Would someone mind explaining to me what all the explosions were about?~ 

"Heyla Mewtwo!" Lashana grinned, rasing her mug in a salute as the psychic pokemon walked into the Kichten. "I was just having a little heart-to-heart with the fridge again. Eh, you might not want to step there, I think I saw that salad move a few moments ago." 

~Gross...~ 

"Well I don't have time to go shopping for a new fridge today," Telca announced. "Remy and I are going to the movies to see Lord of the Rings again." 

Lashana rolled her eyes, peering at the burgundy haired sorceress over the rim of her coffee mug. "What? Aiming for an even dozen times?" 

~Haven't you seen that movie enough times to have it memorized by now?~ Mewtwo frowned, ducking behind Lashana when Telca glared at him. 

"No. And no one with a will to keep living would say that either!" 

"No killing of my Guys," Lashana said conversationally as she stepped past Telca and slammed her baseball bat down onto a gooey tendril, preventing it from reaching Telca's ankle. "You want me to throw Xellos in there with you?" She paused and grinned when the tendril waved from side to side franticly - it's version of a head-shake. "Then get back in there and behave!" 

"Only you could subdue a rebellion of leftovers," Telca snickered, not fazed in the least when the Elf gave her the one finger salute. "Anyway, the fridge has to stay till tomorrow." 

~Can't we just rip the motor out and pitch it into a portal leading to the abyss?~ the pokemon asked as he took the opportunity to steal Lashana's coffee, hastily handing it back when she bared her teeth and waved the bat at him. 

"Too tired. Just duct tape it to the wall or something," Telca yawned as she headed for the doorway. "I'm going back to bed." 

Lashana glared at the other sorceresses retreating back. "Nice of her to offer to help," she growled to an equally irritated Mewtwo. 

~I noticed. C'mon. I'll get the chains, you get the trip wires and the nitrogen bomb.~ 

"Oh sure. Give _me_ the dirty work..." 

The fridge shuddered. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Kenshin yawned as he walked into the Kitchen that morning, smiling as he walked through a beam of warm sunlight that streamed through the patio doors. It was a beautiful day... perfect for baking and.... "Lashana-dono? Mewtwo? What are you doing up? And why is the fridge shackled to the wall?! Is that a _bomb_ attached to the door?!" 

Mewtwo rose his head from where he had been resting it against his hand as he slept and blinked. ~What? Oh, the fridge. It tried to escape again. Right Lashana? Um...Lashana?~ He growled at the soft snore that answered him and nudged her in the ribs. Hard. ~Lashana!! Wake up!!~ 

The reaction was immediate. And the scream was _loud_. 

"I DON'T WANNA BE EATEN BY THE FRIDGE!!!" 

Kenshin stared at the Elf that was now in a battle stance on the island counter, the baseball bat that she clutched a dire warning that was accented by the wild feral look in her eyes. "Um....Lashana-dono?" 

She blinked and looked over at the red-headed samurai, grinning pleasantly. "Kenshin! Hi! How'ya doin buddy?" 

Mewtwo rolled his eyes and rose a hand to his suddenly aching temple. ~Those mood swings of hers are going to drive me insane.~ 

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Lashana said as she looked around. "Why am I standing on the counter, exactly?" 

~You jumped there,~ Mewtwo told her in a voice mostly reserved for the very stupid or the very young. 

"Oh. Right. Well....at least the fridge is still there." 

"About the fridge.... why did you put a bomb on it?" Kenshin asked as she hopped down and stretched, never letting go of the bat for an instant. 

She groaned as she finished her stretch, then shrugged. "It tried to escape again. 'Sides, it's only a nitrogen bomb. If it goes off all it'll do is freeze the fridge in a block of ice. And it'll only go off if it tries to free itself of the chains." 

The samurai took one look at the insanely grinning Elf in front of him and muttered the only thing he was currently capable of. "Oh." 

"Yeppers. And now that you're here, I can go back to bed! Ciao!" 

"Hey...no...wait...huh?" 

~She has that affect on people, doesn't she?~ Mewtwo commented as he looked at the baffled Kenshin. 

"Wha?" 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Lashana whistled happily as she walked into her bedroom, setting the baseball bat next to the door and tossing her housecoat into a corner before heading for the shower. "Morning, Black!" 

"Mrfth?" 

"I'll be in the shower!" 

"Hrf." 

"I'll take that as a 'okay'," she chuckled as she kicked the bathroom door closed. 

Blackwargreymon groaned as he heard the shower start and curled into a tighter ball, completely envelloping himself in the blankets. _It can't be morning yet...._ He fought his way out of part of the blankets long enough to catch a glimpse of the bedside clock before groaning and returning to the blankety cocoon, completely oblivious to the distinct lack of sound from the bathroom. _7 am. Ha! Nothing is going to make me get up...._

"What in the worlds are you trying to do?" Lashana laughed as she walked out of the bathroom, -comfortably clothed in blue jeans and her usual combo of a dark blue sports bra and a dark green tank top - looking over at him and giggling when she saw that he had wrapped all the blankets and sheets around himself. "Can you even move in there?" 

"Nrft." 

"Yes well, 'nrft' to you too!" she grinned as she finished towel drying her shoulder-blade length hair and proceeded to yank a brush through the tangled mess. "You getting up?" 

"Grrrr." 

She rolled her eyes at the sleepy - and rather pitiful - growl, and tossed the brush aside before leaping onto him, tugging at the blankets until a single golden eye blinked up at her through a gap in the fabrics. "Hi, luv!" 

He grunted and freed an arm, hearing her yelp as he grabbed her and pulled her into the warmth of the blankets where he could wrap his arms around her. "S'too early." 

"Hey, you be nice. I let you sleep while I went and did battle with the fridge!" 

That got his attention. "You did what?" 

"The fridge. Y'know, the thing that's currently housing Goddess-knows how many living-leftover-monster-things that keep trying to escape the Palace and multiply across the dimension?" 

"You're kidding.... Okay you're not. ....The fridge?" 

"Yes, the fridge. You want to ask one more time?" 

"The _fridge_?" 

"Not fully awake are we?" she smirked, leaning close to kiss him on the cheek before wriggling out of his hold and out of the multiple layers of blankets. "Ooof! How can you breathe under there? Aw geez...more knots in the hair...craaaaap!!" 

Blackwargreymon rolled his eyes and pushed the blankets down until he could free both arms, watching her viciously rake her fingernails through her hair for a moment before snorting and reaching out to grab her belt, pulling her backwards towards him. "Hold still." 

"There are days where I want to cut it all off," she grumbled as he carefully ran his talons through her hair, effortlessly untangling the knots. 

"Don't do that. I like your hair like this." 

"You don't have to take care of it," she pointed out, sighing as he continued his ministrations. 

"Oh, really now? So what I'm doing is...?" 

"You're being nice to the Elf who subdued the fridge with a baseball bat at two in the morning and then proceeded to spend the next four an a half hours sleeping in the kitchen to make sure it wouldn't try to escape again." 

"Oh. Is that what this is. And what about all the other times I did this, hmm?" 

"To quote a friend : 'humor the crazy person'." 

"Ummhmm. There. The crazy person's hair is now untangled." 

She smiled and ran her hands through her hair before shaking her head, letting the locks regain their natural wild look. "Thanks. What would I do without you?" 

"Probably shave your head bald," he chuckled as he stretched out on his back and laced his fingers behind his head, pointedly ignoring the glare she sent his way. "Are you up for good now?" 

"Yeppers!" 

"Ugh...you had coffee didn't you?" 

"Actually, no. Wait, I lie... I vaguely remember having a mug after I beat up the fridge....." 

"Great." He closed his eyes for a moment, then sighed heavily. "Alright fine, I'm getting up." 

"Kewl! I'm gonna go see if there's anything edible downstairs! You wanna watch a movie after?" 

He glanced over at her as he sat up, and shrugged. "Sure. But what haven't we seen?" 

"'Disney's Atlantis'? I just got it on DVD yesterday." 

A low chuckle escaped him as he stood and stretched, blinking when he saw her staring at him. "Lashana, stop being perverted." 

"Am not! Just admiring what's mine, is all," she grinned before ducking out of the room, barely avoiding the thrown pillow he launched in her direction. She snickered and opened the door a crack to deliver the final blow. "Nice boxers by the way. The little golden hearts are really cute." 

He growled and threw another pillow at her. "Out!" 

"Well they are!" Her protest was drowned out by the mock snarl from behind the door, and she laughed as she headed downstairs. _Coffee, here I come..._


	3. What do you mean, someone cloned Telca?!

_Disclaimer: We own nothing but ourselves and our Ideas. That is all._

_Words between ~ ~ are telepathic thoughts. Don't look at me like that, we've got a psychic pokemon in the gang! It's not my fault I tell you!_   


  


What do you mean, someone cloned Telca?!   
  
  


Mewtwo looked up from the morning paper as Lashana strolled into the kitchen and frowned. ~I thought you were going back to bed?~ 

"I lied," she said simply as she headed for the coffee maker, pouring herself a cup before looking at the fridge. "Cream. Now. And it had better be fresh!" 

~I don't believe it,~ the pokemon muttered as a tendril holding a container emerged from the fridge, poured a bit of cream into the Elf's mug, then retreated. 

Lashana gave the gaping pokemon a fanged grin and took a sip of her coffee. "Mmm... caffeiney goodness. So! Where's Kenshin gone to?" 

~Went to look online to find a new muffin recipie,~ Mewtwo answered as he recovered from his shock, drinking some of his own coffee and arching a brow at the fridge. ~It's reaching for you.~ 

Still taking a sip of her coffee, the Elf reached into her own personal storage portal, pulled out a metal baseball bat, and promptly slammed it onto the gooey tendril. 

~How many of those do you have?!~ 

"Oh, about six or seven," she smiled before turning to glare at the fridge, her voice gaining a decidedly evil tone to it. "Don't piss me off." 

"That's it. She's snapped. She's talkin' to the appliances," Wolverine chuckled as he sauntered into the kitchen. 

~It tried to escape this morning.~ 

"Again!? Bloody flamin' hell. We gotta get ourselves a new fridge," the Cancuk growled, extending the adamantium claws on his right hand when a tendril reached for him. "Don't even think of it, bub." 

"Telca says that she'll go get a new one tomorrow," Lashana told him as she moved to sit on a stool across from Mewtwo, smiling as she tugged a section of the paper out of the pokemon's grasp. "She and Remy are gonna go see Lord of the Rings again." 

"Again?! She's already seen that thing eleven times!" 

~She's aiming for an even dozen it seems,~ Mewtwo said as he fought with Lashana for the Comics section. ~Let go.~ 

"Nope. Give." 

He growled, his eyes glowing a light blue. ~Let. Go.~ 

She rose the baseball bat. "No. Give!" 

And Wolverine simply sliced the entire newspaper in half. 

"Aww.... you killed the 'Get Fuzzy' comic...." 

~And my 'Rose is Rose'!~ 

As the two turned to glare at him, Wolverine had the sudden sense that he'd be better off taking his chances with the fridge. 

"Blackwargreymon!" Lashana cried, her voice rising to a wail broken only by a few whimpers. "Wolverine destroyed my newspaper!" 

Wolverine snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. "Tha's not gonna work on me, darlin'. Everyone here knows the great snorin' lump never gets up before noon!" 

"Oh, is that so?" 

The Cancuk sighed and hung his head at the sound of the voice from behind him. "Hey, Blacky." 

The Digimon chuckled evilly and casually hooked his thumbs into the front pockets of his faded blue jeans. "Hello Wolverine." 

~'Your' newspaper?~ Mewtwo frowned as he looked over at a grinning Lashana. 

"Oh, hush. We get better results this way," she winked, returning her gaze to the doorway as Blackwargreymon forcably shoved the Canuck towards the Main Hall with the orders to go find another newspaper. 

"But then I'll have ta go into town!!" 

"So? You have a jeep. Go!" 

"Bloody flamin' hell!!" 

Lashana grinned and looked at Mewtwo. "See? Now wasn't that easy?" She reached into another portal and pulled out a couple more newspapers and handed one to him. "By the time he gets back he'll never even _dream_ of destroying anything of mine again." 

~You're evil.~ 

"When in doubt go with your strengths. One of mine happens to be an eight an a half foot tall Digimon. Ain't that right, hun?" 

Blackwargreymon chuckled and looked over at her as he walked back into the Kitchen. "If I say yes will you help me convince the fridge to give me a few oranges?" 

"No prob. Yo, you! Fresh oranges! _Now!_" 

~It really is disturbing how good she is at that,~ Mewtwo commented to the Digimon as the thing living within the fridge immediately handed the Elf four oranges. 

"Doesn't surprise me one bit," Blackwargreymon grinned as he took his breakfast from the Elf and moved to sit next to her before starting to peel the first fruit with his talons. "So. Mind telling me why you got me up so early?" 

She smiled at him warmly and batted her eyelashes. "I wanted to bask in your wonderful presence?" 

~Bleh.~ 

"Gee, thanks there, Mewtwo. I'll remember that next time Wolvie shreads your paper," Black grumbled, throwing a piece of orange peel at the pokemon. 

"Grrr to you Mewtwo," the Elf growled as she rolled up her newspaper and smacked him over the head with it. "Being mean to my poor defenseless-" 

"Hey!" 

"-loving Bonded!" 

"Well that's a little better..." 

~Hmpft,~ the pokemon grumbled as he returned his attention to his newspaper, ignoring the Bonded pair across from him. 

"Methinks someone's being a pain-in-the-arse today," Lashana smirked as she took an unpeeled orange away from Blackwargreymon and started to rip the skin off of it. "Anyway, I don't think the Appliance from Hell is gonna give us much trouble today. There aren't many people here who can't fight it off... well, maybe Duncan if he stumbles into it..." 

Blackwargreymon grunted. "Someone will come along and free him....if only to stop the screams." 

"Point. Wanna go watch that movie?" 

"Sure. The company here sucks anyway." 

Mewtwo rolled his eyes at the jibe and stuck his tongue out at them. ~All the more coffee for me if you leave.~ 

"Not if I take the pot with me," Lashana grinned, not fazed in the least when he gave her a nasty glare. "Oh, don't get your tail in a knot. I'm not that cruel... No wait, I am. Just not to you. Now Zelgadis, he's fun to torture!" 

The Digimon snickered and grabbed her arm, dragging her out of the Kitchen. "Stop trying to freak people out, Lashana." 

"Trying? Who's trying?" 

"Lashana-dono!" 

She turned at the call, frowning at a worried Kenshin as he ran over to them. "Kenshin. What's wrong?" 

"There's something you have to see. On the computer." 

"Go ahead," Blackwargreymon rumbled, giving her a gentle push in Kenshin's direction. "I'll wait for you in the Livingroom." 

"Okay. I'll be right back!" she grinned before following Kenshin back to the General Computer room (aka the Den). It wasn't that grand of a room at all, actually. But it certainly gave everyone at the Palace who didn't own a computer a fair chance to surf the net and the like....that and it had been grand fun to see the clerks face when she and Telca had walked into Compusmart store and ordered six state-of-the-art computer systems. _Heehee. I thought he was going to drop to his knees and thank us. We certainly made his day...especially since he worked on commission!_   
  


"You're not going to believe this," Kenshin murmured as he sat in the chair in front of the second computer and gestured for her to read over his shoulder. "I was on a Canadian Living Message Board..." At the weird look she sent his way, he ducked his head slightly and blushed. "I needed new recipies." 

"Uh huh. So what's all the hassle?" 

"There's another person here.... she's a long time member, I really don't know how I missed her for so long but... look at the name." He moved aside a little to give her a better view at the screen and helpfully pointed to the member name in question. 

"'Telca...two? What the flamin hell is this?!" The Elf growled and shoved Kenshin - still in his chair - aside, sending him rolling towards another desk as she reached for the keyboard and started typing madly. "I want to know who's bright idea of a joke this is so I can watch Telca beat the living crap out of them!" 

"That's the thing, Lashana-dono...I don't think this is a joke," Kenshin murmured as he stood and walked over to her. "No one outside of the Harem knows anything about you or Telca, but when you look at this person's bio....it matches our Telca perfectly." 

"Yeah....okay. So?" 

Kenshin rolled his eyes. "Lashana-dono, who else do you know that has a name similar to this one?" 

She frowned for a moment, then paled. "Mewtwo. 'Two' because he's a...." 

"Clone," the samurai finished for the stunned Elf. "I think this Telcatwo...." 

She growled, cutting him off, and opened a portal, dragging a startled Mewtwo into the room. "Tell me you haven't been experimenting with our DNA!!" 

~Uh...I haven't been experimenting with your DNA?~ The Pokemon blinked when she snarled. ~What? What's going on?~ 

"Look!" 

He peered at the computer screen for a moment before paling. ~Telcatwo? Oh no. Oh Gods no...there's _another_ Telca?!?!~ 

Lashana looked from the freaking out Mewtwo to Kenshin. "Methinks he didn't know about this." 

"Do tell," Kenshin murmured as the Pokemon started wailing about Armageddon. 

"Okay...okay so there's got to be an explaination... Mewtwo! Shut up! I can't think with you screaming like that!! Gods...." She shoved him aside and looked at the screen again, humming thoughtfully as she clicked on the link that would lead to the most recent post made by this 'Telcatwo'. "Okay....Cranberry lemon muffins....blah blah blah....home recipie....blah blah....dash of nutmeg? Ew. Blah blah.....they're good for keeping the psychotic Predacons in a good mood?!?! What the hell?!?" 

~What's a Predacon?~ Mewtwo asked, seemingly recovered from his little escapade into incoherant-babble-land. 

"They're Transformers. You know, like from that TV cartoon? Only they're from Beast Wars. There's two warring factions, the Maximals and the Predacons. The Maximals are always striving for peace while the Predacons lust for war....." Kenshin trailed off and blinked when the two slowly turned to stare at him in mixed shock and horror. "What?" 

"How did you-? Nevermind, I don't want to know. Anyway, like Kenshin said, the Preds are from the Beast Wars.... but why the hell would they have a clone of Telca?" 

~Better yet : how did they manage to clone her? They would need a fair amount of her DNA to be able to construct a proper clone,~ Mewtwo said softly, looking at Lashana suddenly as an idea occured to him. ~Wait! Remember last week, Telca was yelling about her hairbrush being missing?~ 

"Shit, you're right! And the week before that, she said that her toothbrush went missing!" 

"And that someone had gone and trimmed her fingernails while she slept," Kenshin added, wincing at the memory of how livid the burgundy haired sorceress had been when she had awoken to _that_ little surprise. 

"Yeah. My parents said they heard her screaming....and they're not even in this dimension!" Lashana smirked as she turned her gaze back to the screen. "So....looks like this...Telcatwo is a prisoner of the Preds. Huh. Imagine that. Oh well, I'm gonna go watch a movie now." 

~Lashana!~ 

"Whaaaat?" she whined as Mewtwo grabbed her arm, preventing her from making a run for the door. 

"You're not seriously thinking of just leaving her there!" Kenshin frowned. 

"And if I am?" 

~"_Lashana_!"~ 

The duet of yells made her roll her eyes. "And how do you expect me to do that, hmm? I can't portal myself there, it's in a dimension that I never even knew existed until now! Besides, what if this is all some big joke? I mean geez, you really expect me to believe that the Preds stole Telca's _toothbrush_ so they could clone her?" 

~What if it isn't a joke? Lashana....~ 

"Oh for the love of-- _Fine_. Duncan just got a new shipment of antiques and Magickal artifacts delivered and I'm sure I saw a transdimensional talisman in with the other junk. Now let go of my arm!" So saying, she smacked Mewtwo upside the head and jerked her arm free, glaring at the two males in annoyance. "You _so_ owe me for this! Kenshin, you keep chatting with Telcatwo, keep her....it....whatever, online for as long as you can. Mewtwo, you're with me!" 

~Me? Why me?!~ 

"Because this is your bright idea mister! Now c'mon!" 

~I should have stayed in bed,~ the pokemon moaned as the Elf dragged him out of the room. 

"Yes, you should have. You know what that makes you?" 

~A sucker for punishment?~ 

_SMACK!_

~OW! What was that for?!~ 

"For being an ass!"   



	4. It's all Duncan's fault

_Disclaimer: We own nothing but ourselves and our Ideas. That is all._

_Words between ~ ~ are telepathic thoughts. Don't look at me like that, we've got a psychic pokemon in the gang! It's not my fault I tell you!_   
  


Zelgadis grinned to himself as he heard the lock on the door click open and silently turned the knob while pocketing his lock-picking tools. "This is too easy..." He walked inside and closed the door behind him before turning to face the darkened room. "_Light which burns beyond crimson flame! Let thy power gather in my hand! LIGHTING!_" 

He grinned again as he casually tossed the sphere of light into the air and planted his fists on his hips as he let his gaze travel around the now well-lighted room. _Duncan really should learn how to install better locks. Granted I'm not usually the breaking and entering kinda guy, but that shipment of Magickal artifacts may have something that could cure me of this chimeric curse...._

~Why can't you get Telca to help you?~ 

"Because she and Remy already left for the theatre half an hour ago!" 

~But it's only 8am!~ 

"They wanted to get good seats, okay? Yeesh!" 

Zel froze, his heart hammering in his chest. _Lashana and Mewtwo...and they're coming this way!! Dammit! Better grab what I can and bolt!_

"What the hell? The lock's been picked!" 

_Oh no!!_ He spun as the door was kicked open and stared at the resident Elf, wincing when a sceptre fell out of his shirt and clanged loudly onto the floor. 

"_Zel?!_ What in the Galaxies are you doing?!" 

"This isn't what it looks like!" 

~Oh. So you're not really stealing Duncan's belongings and shoving them into your pants?~ Mewtwo smirked, crossing his arms over his chest as he gazed over at the chimera. 

"Uh..." 

"I am so going to deal with you later!" Lashana growled as she stalked into the room. "Lucky for you that I have to go hopping around dimensions." _What the hell is he doing in here anyway? This isn't like him... He's a little off, sure, but he's not a criminal! Oh screw it, one headache at a time. Now where the hell is that--_ "The talisman!" 

"No!" Zel cried, pulling the amulet out of her reach. "It could be my cure!" 

"Oh, Zel," she sighed, looking at him sadly. "Is that what this is all about? Hun, there's nothing here that could cure you. What you're holding is a transdimensional talisman. That won't help you." 

"How do you know that? This could be a trick!" 

She narrowed her eyes and growled. "It is not! Now give me that talisman! We need it to rescue Telca's clone!!!" 

"No!" 

~Oh, isn't this mature,~ the psychic pokemon mused as he gazed at the large dust cloud fight in front of him. ~I swear I must be insane to involve myself in these things....~ He reached into the cloud and grabbed an edge of the disc shaped artifact, yanking on it sharply and smirking when the fight instantly stopped. ~Zelgadis. Let go.~ 

"No! This could be my only chance! I could go to a different dimension! Maybe there's different magicks there! They could cure me!" the nearly hysterical chimera yelled as he pulled at the part of the talisman he was gripping. 

"You idiot! Let go!" Lashana screamed, lashing out with her right foot and kicking him in the shin. 

"What's going on in here!?!" Duncan roared as he stalked into the room, glaring at the three tug-of-war-ers. "What do you think you're doing?! Those are priceless artifacts!" 

"Not now!" Lashana snarled as she yanked on the talisman, trying to pry it out of Zel's hands. "Let go damn you!" 

"No!!" 

~Oh shit!~ 

Lashana blinked at Mewtwo's panicked yell and suddenly realized that the light sphere above their heads wasn't souly responsible for the funky coloured lighting around them. "What the?" She blinked and glanced at the floor, paling when she saw a rainbowed portal open beneath them. "Craaaap!" 

"See? I told you!" Duncan wailed as the portal pulsed once before growing to encompass them all. 

The last thing that was heard in the Palace was a unified scream of: "_Shaddup, Duncan!!_"   
  



	5. Insanity meets the Beast Wars

_Disclaimer: We own nothing but ourselves and our Ideas. That is all._

_For those of you who are avid Beast Wars fans (like me!) this fic is placed just before 'Code of Hero'. So Dinobot's not dead yet (thank any and all the Gods) and he hasn't been cloned yet either (thanking the Gods again). Thus that means that no one has reached transmetal two status (which is good, cuz I thought some of them looked downright ugly)_

_For those of you who aren't avid Beast Wars fans..........What's the matter with you?!?!?!_

_Words between ~ ~ are telepathic thoughts. Don't look at me like that, we've got a psychic pokemon in the gang! It's not my fault I tell you!_   
  


Now normally you'd think that seeing a brown and tan raptor doing patrol in the middle of a canyon while reporting his findings (or lack of) into a hidden communicator and being rather mouthy about it would be a strange sight to see. You'd be right. But of course, in the Beast Wars, a raptor who walks and talks (and later transforms into a robot in order to blow you up) is a general daily occurance. No really. It is. Of course said raptor becoming a crash mat for a screeching Elf and a dazed Immortal who have just fallen out of a transdimensional portal....now _that's _weird! 

"Oh Goddess Above....what hit me?" 

"That was kinda fun! Let's do that again!" 

"NO!!" 

"Aww...." 

"By the Pit! Will you get off of me!?!" 

Lashana gasped as she was unceremoniously shoved aside and yelped as she slammed face first into the sandy ground. _I always wondered what eating dirt was like.... NOT!_ With a snarl, she lept to her feet and spun to face.....a full grown raptor?! "Oh geez, not Jurassic Park _again_! Duncan! Your stupid talisman's a piece of shit!" 

"It is not! Besides, you broke it!" 

"I did no-- Sweet flamin' shit! Where's the rest of it?!" She stared down at the piece of the talisman she had clutched in her hand and frowned. "It must have broken apart when Zel, Mewtwo and I were pulled into the portal. Well, crap. Isn't this just fine and dandy?" 

"If you don't mind.... Could you stop your senseless babbling?!" 

Duncan yelped and leaped into the Elf's arms, clinging to her franticly. "It's a talking raptor!!!" 

Lashana rolled her eyes and dropped the Immortal, leaving him to slam onto the ground. "Get a grip you idiot. Gods....I don't know how you've managed to survive this long...." She sighed and brushed dirt off of herself before gazing over at the raptor. "I'm guessing that you're Dinobot....right?" 

"How in the Inferno did you know that?" he demanded, the killing claw on his right foot twitching slightly. 

"It's a long and annoying story," she muttered sourly as she looked at her surroundings. "Ugh.... Why oh why couldn't we have landed in a nice shady forest?" 

"Um....Aren't you even a little freaked about the talking raptor?" Duncan whispered, ducking behind her when said raptor snarled irritably. 

Lashana sighed in exasperation. "Duncan. I live with a draconian, a giant winged snake that talks, a coffee addicted chimera, a cloned psychic pokemon that looks like a cross between a kangaroo and a cat, and my Soul-Bonded is an eight an a half foot tall Digimon. And that's just the annoying ones. A talking raptor is not very high up on my 'to be freaked out about' list, okay?" 

"Point." 

She sighed again and looked over at Dinobot, noting that he looked like he was about to either have a fit or simply transform and beat the living daylights out of them. "Sorry. I know this is kinda....bizarre...." 

"This is normal compared to some of the stuff we've been through," Duncan muttered under his breath, wincing when the Elf glared at him. "I'm shutting up now." 

"_Anyway_. Like I was saying. I know this seems sorta strange....but there is a good reason for it....kinda." 

"Oh, really? And what pray tell would that be?" 

"Well.....the condensed version is that I was supposed to come here to rescue one of my.... er.... friends. See, we saw this message that they were trapped in the Pred base and, so, y'know, we tried to grab the nearest portal over here. But between this idiot-" 

"Hey! I resent that!" 

"Cope! So between him and his thieving side-kick, we all got pulled into a portal and seemingly seperated. What's worse is that since the talisman was broken in the process.... I'm betting that we can't leave until we get all the pieces together." 

"You seriously expect me to believe that?" the raptor growled, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared at her. 

"Um....yes?" 

"I think not." 

"Well, Christ on a crutch, what the hell do you want from me?! Oh, the flamin' hell with this! C'mon Duncan, let's get the hell out here!" she yelled as she spun around and stalked across the canyon. 

Duncan glanced from the retreating Elf to the silent raptor, shrugged, and headed after the Elf. "How are we going to get out of here? It's a _canyon_!" 

"No shit!" she growled as she grabbed his arm, quickly shoving her piece of the talisman into her jeans pocket before looking up at the edge of the canyon high above them. "_RAYWING!_" 

"Holy shit!" 

She cackled at Duncan's scream of surprise and exerted a bit more power, gaining speed as she flew upwards. "Now all we have to do is find Mewtwo and Zel, fix the talisman and go home." 

"Oh that'll be a cinch," the Immortal muttered sarcasticly. 

"You want me to drop you, sarcasm-boy?!" 

"No! No! I'm fine, thanks!" 

"Hmpft." 

The raptor watched in slack-jawed shock as the two landed on level ground, his claw automaticly rising to tap his comlink. "Uh...Dinobot to Optimus. We....we have visitors....really _strange _ones." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH--" _CRASH!_ "Ow....my head...." 

Zelgadis lay there for a moment, content to stay limp while his head radiated it's dislike of being used as a cushion for his fall. _What happened? The others...._ With a grunt that was more of a painfilled wheeze, he forced himself into a sitting position and looked around, blinking at the numerous bubbling lava pits around him. "Well....this is a cheerful place." 

A sharp sting in his hand made him gaze downwards, frowning when he saw that he had been clutching the talisman hard enough that it had cut into his chimeric skin. _That's new. Nothing's been able to-- Oh no! Where's the rest of the talisman?!_ "It must have broken apart in the fight...." he whispered out loud. "But then....where are the others?" 

"I assure you that they will not escape us, nooo." 

The chimera blinked and looked up...right into the face of a big metallic purple T-Rex. His reaction was hysterical at best. "HOLY SHIT! IT'S BARNEY ON CRACK!" 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"Stupid desert, and stupid chimeras, and stupid whistling immortals, and stupid portals and stupid cheap talismans and....GODDAMMIT DUNCAN STOP WHISTLING THAT SONG!!!" 

Duncan pouted. "What's wrong with the 'Star Wars Theme'?" 

"I'll tell you what's wrong with the Star Wars Theme! What's wrong is that you've been whistling that bloody tune for the past _three miles_!! Non stop!!!" Lashana yelled, accenting the rant by scooping up a rock and throwing it at him, growling when it missed. 

"So I've got healthy lungs. What's wrong with that?" 

_Count to ten. 1...2....3...._ "Duncan?" 

He paled at the calm voice and slowly started backing away as she stalked towards him, a rather disturbing evil look in her eyes. "Y-yes?" 

_...4...5...6...._"Duncan, I am tired, I am hot, and lost in a desert with no way home." _...10.....then go over there and kill him._(It really was rather amazing how cheerful her inner voice sounded at these times of emmense stress) "So. If you don't stop singing that freakin' song..." she ran forward and grabbed his shirt collar, snarling as she slammed him up against a nearby boulder. "I'm gonna rip out yer lungs an nail 'em ta yer forehead!!! _Understand??!?_" 

He squeaked. 

"What was that?!" 

"Y-yes ma'am!" 

She dropped him and spun to continue walking towards a distant jungle, muttering things that she'd like to do to the immortal (that can't be repeated for fear of psychologically scarring the fanfic reader's minds), while the silent and ever wary Duncan followed at a safe distance. 

"I swear, there are days where I could really use a lifetime supply of tylenol..." she muttered under her breath as she kicked at a small stone. "Or at least a nice large chocolate sundae....aw geez I'm making myself hungry." 

"Lashana?" When she didn't seem like she was going to spin around and disembowel him, Duncan figured that it was safe to keep talking. "Um....why don't we fly over there? Or at least use a portal?" 

She sighed wearily. "One : I can't fly that far. Not while I'm carrying you anyway, it'd use up all my energy. Two : I can't use my portals. They got all fubared when I went through that funky 70's reject of a portal." 

"Oh." 

_Ever the one for intelligent conversation, aren't you, Duncan. Oh Lords but I wish that Blackwargreymon was here! _She reached up and tucked her unruly hair behind her ears, wishing that she had thought to keep a hair elastic with her as the dry hot wind sent her bangs into her eyes. _This bites._

"Here," Duncan murmured as he quickened his pace to walk by her side, holding out one of his spare ribbons for his hair. "Take it." 

"Thanks," she sighed, gratefully picking it out of his hand and using it to tie her hair up into a loose panytail. "We need a better travel agent." 

He chuckled. "At least we didn't lose our luggage," he grinned, elicting a soft laugh as the Elf gently elbowed him in the side. "So...no more Star Wars, huh?" 

"Oh, you can whistle that all you want. Just as long as you're aware that what I said before still stands," she said as she gave him one of her fanged grins. 

"Ah. Well, considering that I'm rather attached to my lungs....and that this is a new shirt...." he paused and pretended to think for a moment before breaking out in a song. " 'It's a small world, after all! It's a small world, after all!' " 

"Oh, if only I had my sword with me," she growled as she smacked him upside the head. She stopped walking seconds later, head cocked. "What in the worlds..." 

"What?" he frowned, looking at her worriedly. 

"I hear....an engine?" 

He smirked. "It's a bird! It's a plane! No it's--" 

"A neon blue and silver transmetal ape on a flying snowboard." 

".....it's a _WHAT?!?!_" 

She snickered at his high-pitched incredulous yelp and grabbed his arm. "Hold on." 

"No! No more insane flying!" he sobbed as he tried to wriggle free, whimpering when the ground abruptly fell away. "Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!" 

"Stop whining! Big baby...." Lashana glanced back at the Maximal and gave him a little dainty wave before she bared her fangs in a feral grin and shot towards the distant jungle, Duncan's screams of terror adding to the insanity of the moment. "What was that? Faster?" 

"NO!!" 

"Okay then!" 

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

~Lashana? Zelgadis? Anybody?~ 

Mewtwo sighed from where he was flying above a lake and shook his head slightly. ~Wherever they are... they're beyond my psychic reach. Dammit.~ He looked down at the shard of the talisman in his left hand and frowned. ~They have to be around here somewhere. I just have to keep looking.~ 

Amethyst eyes full of new determination, the pokemon focused his powers and increased his flight speed, shooting upwards into the white clouds high above until only a shimmering blue trail of psychic energy gave any indication of where he had vanished to.   
  
  



	6. Revelations

Disclaimer: We own nothing but ourselves and our Ideas. That is all.

Words between ~ ~ are telepathic thoughts. Don't look at me like that, we've got a psychic pokemon in the gang! It's not my fault I tell you!

"This is all Lashana's fault," the chimera grumbled sourly. He was currently sitting lotus-style in the centre of a large cage that was dangling over a very deep pit. At the bottom of said pit was a bubbling pool of lava. Needless to say, Zelgadis had had just about enough fun for one day. 

What was worse was that he hadn't even had his morning coffee back at the Palace. What did that mean, you ask? Two words : Caffiene withdrawl. Hence the reason that he was now contentedly chewing on a coffee bean he had found in his pocket. _Coffee. Sweet, life giving coffee..... _

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Geez, Duncan. Talk about your weak stomachs," Lashana snickered, leaning back against a tree as the immortal finished re-greeting his breakfast behind a nearby bush. "It wasn't that bad."

Deciding not to dignify her comment with an answer, he straightened and staggered over to a small nearby stream, dropping to his knees before scooping water into his cupped hands and drinking his fill.

The Elf grinned and reached up to grasp a low hanging branch, effortlessly pulling herself up onto it so she could reach the peaches she had spotted. "You hungry?" When her question was answered by a low moaning wail, she shrugged and twisted a single peach off the upper branch. "Your loss."

"You're evil," the immortal groaned as she hopped down onto solid ground and took a big bite out of the peach.

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"That's because it is!"

"Not really. I mean, think about it. There's different kinds of evil. There's 'destroy the world' evil, 'eat the cat' evil, 'telemarketer' evil, 'destroy the neighbours' evil, and then there's me 'the insane yet bizarrely entertaining evil'," she explained with a grin. "Besides, it could be way worse."

"How?"

"I could have a sister."

Duncan shuddered. "That's....that's just....ugh..."

"There see? Lighten up, smell the coffee...or the roses since there isn't any coffee at the moment. Oh Gods....coffee...."

"Don't you go all withdrawl on me!" Duncan yelped, watching curiously as she reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out a tiny pill bottle. "What's that?"

"Caffiene pills," she murmured before swallowing a couple. "I always carry some with me. Saves lots of lives that way."

"Caffiene freak."

"Hey! I am so not as bad as Zelgadis! Oh dear... Zel! He's trapped out here and he hasn't had any coffee!"

"He'll survive! I'm more worried about us!" Duncan yelped as he pointed to the raptor that emerged from the ferns directly behind her.

Lashana smirked, and, without turning around, addressed the new arrival. "I was wondering how long it'd take you to track us down, Dinobot." She took another bite from her peach and chewed quickly before swallowing. 

"You knew." It wasn't a question.

"Of course," she smiled as she turned to face him, casually leaning against the tree afterwards. "Especially since he didn't give me much time to fly anywhere," she added as she jerked a thumb in Duncan's direction.

"Gee, thanks. You mind telling me what's going on? Multi-coloured portals, missing people, talking raptors and a....and a....."

She glanced back at the immortal, worried. "Duncan? You okay?"

"...and a...and a...."

Lashana blinked and twisted to look at him fully, following his pointing finger to a familiar figure that was hovering on his board above them. "Yes, Duncan. It's an ape on a hoverboard." Her only answer was a loud thud as the immortal hit the ground in a dead faint. "Lovely.... just lovely.... I am _so _not carrying him anywhere."

She was almost certain that she heard a muffled chuckle from the raptor behind her, but since her attention was currently centred on the Maximal commander that was landing in front of her, she didn't think now was the time to poke more jokes at the unconscious immortal. _Oh well, time to go to work._

"Heyla, Optimus," she said cheerfully, giving him one of her fanged grins before she took another bite out of her peach, smirking at his surprised look. _You'd think he never saw a Elf before..._

"You seem to know us rather well," he frowned as he approached her, still in his trademarked transmetal beast mode. "You have us at a disadvantage."

"Wouldn't want that," she chuckled as she finished her fruit and tossed the pit near the base of the tree. "My name's Lashana. And that grand unconscious lump over there is Duncan Macleod. Oh, an by the way : you have got to teach the raptor manners. Cuz helpful he ain't."

Optimus looked at her in surprise for a moment, very aware of the glare that Dinobot was sending at her, and even more surprised that she seemed to be completely ignoring the quick to temper raptor. "He told me your story. I'd like to know more."

"To make sure we're not in league with the Preds, right?" She shrugged and tucked a loose lock of her hair behind her right ear. "I'd really rather start actively looking for my friends, but since I'm not going anywhere till Duncan rejoins the land of the conscious....why not? Dinobot stop glaring at me, you're not going to intimidate me with pitiful looks of death."

"Pitiful?!" he snarled. "How dare-"

She growled and rounded on him, an aura of power flickering into existence around her as she glared at him angrily. "I don't have time to take part in this glorified pissing contest with you, so I'll keep this simple : _BACK OFF!_ I am tired, lost, hungry, in dire need of coffee and I have a very large urge to blow something up!"

"Oohh. I have to lay off that prairie oyster soup...."

Okay...that was gross... Lashana slowly turned to look at the newly awakened immortal and frowned. "What did you say?"

"That I have to lay off that prairie oyster soup. Why?" The immortal looked at her horrified expression as he got to his feet and frowned at her curiously. "What?"

"You have no idea what that is....do you?" she whispered, grimacing when he shook his head. A quick glance at the two Maximals told her that while Dinobot obviously knew what it was - she could tell by the rather ill look on his face - Optimus seemed to be as clueless as Duncan. "Oh boy. Um...Dinobot. You want to take this?"

"Not really. No."

"Crap." She took a deep breath to steel herself for what she knew was going to be a trying expirence and turned back to the immortal. "Okay. Duncan.... prairie oysters.... aren't um.... 'oysters' per se...."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Deep within the barren lava-filled wasteland and, even deeper still, into the bowels of the Predacon ship, a certain chimera was going through the the worst form of torture known to insanity......caffiene withdrawl. The Preds were suffering from it as well, for it seemed that Zelgadis' form of withdrawl wasn't the listless, depressed kind. No. It was the insane, let's-sing-a-campfire-song kind of withdrawl. And singing he was. Loudly. And off-key.

"Oh I've got a lovely bunch a coconuts! There they are all standin' in a row! Short ones, fat ones, some as big as yer head!"

Megatron grimaced from his private quarters and let out a loud howl of desperation. "By the Inferno! Won't someone shut him up?!?!"

"This is the song that never ends! Yes it goes on and on my friends! Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and now they'll keep singing it forever just because, this is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends...."

"SHUT HIM UP!!!!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"_They're WHAT?!?!!?_"

THUD! CRASH!

"Well.... that went rather well," Lashana commented to a slightly startled Dinobot as she stared down at the two unconscious forms in front of her. One immortal and one Maximal commander. "What I'd like to know is where the hell Duncan got that soup from....wait. Scratch that. Nevermind. I don't want to know that. I don't want to know."

Dinobot shivered a final time before managing to push the unsettling moment aside. "A wise choice I believe."

She sighed and leaned back against the nearest tree. "'Course now I have to wait for them to wake up before I can go anywhere...." She growled softly and lightly banged her head back against the tree, cursing her stupidity. _By the time those two wake up Zel will be in serious withdrawl. And there's no telling where the hell Mewtwo is.... Argh! Gods, but I need a vacation....._ _And why the hell is he staring at me?!_ She frowned and glanced over at the silent yet staring raptor, forcing herself not to bare her fangs. "What?"

"What _are_ you? You can't be human..."

"Half-human, if you must know. Though my best half is my Elven side." At his blank look she sighed and mentally recited a chant for inner strength. "Y'know. Elves?"

He shook his head. "I've never heard the term."

"Joy. Okay, look. Extremely condensed version : I'm an Elf. Elves are protectors of nature. Forests especially...at least in my case anyway. We're also big on the Magick business. More towards shamanism than the darker arts.... that's how I flew before."

"And that vortex?"

"Already told you about that. Not my fault if you don't believe me."

Dinobot snarled softly under his breath and shifted his weight slightly, his tail swaying from side to side as he studied her. He was mildly surprised to see that she was staring at him in return, her gaze steady and unafraid. "Supposing that I did believe you. What would you do? Take on the Predacons alone?"

Lashana shrugged and slid her hands into her jean pockets. "Don't see why not. A few fireballs, maybe a lightning blast....no prob."

"You're mad to think that you could be a match for the Predacons!" he snarled at her. "They are not to be underestimated!"

"Neither am I," she pointed out before giving him a fanged grin. _Oh, look, he's flinching. Can't imagine why...._ She snickered and rose her gaze to the jungle canopy high above, wondering how hard it could be to break through. _Only one way to find out._ "I'll be right back. _RAYWING!_"

"What in the Inferno are you doing?!" he yelled after her, growling when she flew through the tree tops and left dozens of branches and twigs to rain down on top of him. "Get back down here! You'll give away our location!!"

"Lighten up!" she called back to him as she hovered above the trees and looked around. _Okay. The Pred base should be over there. Ech. That'll be a bitch to travel. I'll have to bring Duncan for another flight...._ Another curse from below her made her roll her eyes as she reluctantly complied with the raptors orders to return to the ground. _What a grouch. Geez._ She landed in front of him and glared. "What the hell is your problem? You don't believe a word I say, you yell at me, growl at me, glare at me, and now you won't even let me take a look around! Have you forgotten the fact that two of my friends are still missing?!"

"Ugh....what's all the yelling about?"

She glanced back at a dazed Duncan and sighed. "About time you return to the land of the conscious. You think you're up to another flight?"

He groaned and clutched at his stomach. "I don't know if I want to scream or retch."

"I'll take that as a 'no' then." Another sigh escaped her as she walked over to him and gently pulled him to his feet. "Can you walk? I have to get away from here before I kill someone."

The immortal blinked at her for a moment before looking over at the raptor. "Right." _I don't know what's going on, but by the way Lashana's acting....if we don't get out of here soon that raptor's gonna be hanging from his gonads in a tree._ "Let's go."

"Where-"

Duncan cut Dinobot's protest off with a glare as Lashana hopped across the small stream and actually wished that he had his katana with him. "Don't you think you've said enough? We didn't ask for your help and we don't need it, especially if all you're going to do is constantly pester us with questions, and then dismiss our answers as lies."

Not waiting for an answer, he turned and used a few dry rocks as stepping stones to join a smiling Lashana on the other side. "What's the smile for?"

"Nothing. C'mon," she said as she headed into the dense jungle. "Hey Duncan?"

"Yeah?"

"Start whistling that Star Wars theme again, will ya?"

He grinned.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"What do you mean they just left?" Optimus frowned. He had just woken up a few moments ago to the sight of Dinobot staring at the jungle across the stream. "What happened?"

"The female - Lashana - and I had....words."

"Prime," came the low grumble. He knew what Dinobot could be like. "Which way did they go?"


	7. First Contact and a Dragon Slave

_Disclaimer: We own nothing but ourselves and our Ideas. That is all._

_Words between ~ ~ are telepathic thoughts. Don't look at me like that, we've got a psychic pokemon in the gang! It's not my fault I tell you!_   
  


_SMACK!_ "Ugh! I hate mosquitoes!!" 

"They're not bothering me." 

Duncan looked at her curiously. "Why not?" 

"It's an Elven thing," she grinned as she pushed a few low hanging vines aside and ducked under a branch. 

He grumbled and immediately tripped over a tree root. It simply amazed him that while he was fighting his way through the dense bushes and vines and who-knew-what, she was strolling ahead of him like she was walking through a park. "I hate how you do that." 

"Do what?" 

"Move through the jungle like that. You haven't tripped once. Look at me! I'm scratched, hot, the bugs are eating me alive, and I've tripped at least nine times in the past ten minutes!" 

"Eleven times actually," she smirked. "And you seem to forget that I'm an Elf. The forests are my home." 

"You could at least stop snickering at your guests then." 

"Sorry. Here." She walked back to him and helped him through the tangle of vines he had gotten himself in, weaving a Healing spell on him as she did so. "That should help a little. And stay close to me, you'll escape the bugs that way." 

"Uh....thanks." 

"No prob. It beats having to listen to you bitch for another half hour," she smiled as she pulled him along. "Besides, we have to get under thick cover before Optimus sees us." 

"He's here? Where? Damn, I wish I had my katana...." 

"I can hear the engine on that hoverboard of his. And yeah, I could use a weapon or two. Hell, I'd settle for a baseball bat." 

He shivered. He had seen what she had done to the fridge. Immortal or no, he'd be insane to invoke that kind of rage from her. "So. What's the plan?" 

"Plan? I'm supposed to have a plan?" 

"Pretend." 

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Find the Pred base, sneak in, get Telca's clone--" 

"Whoa! Telca has a clone?!" 

"Shh! Not so loud with the screaming!" Lashana hissed, smacking him upside the head for good measure before quickly outlining what she, Mewtwo and Kenshin had discovered. "That's why we're here. To rescue her clone." 

"In the name of all that's Holy...._why?!!_" he cried. "We have enough trouble with one Telca. You think we can survive two of them?!" 

She shrugged. "Mewtwo guilt-tripped me into this. Blame him. I just want to get this done and go home!" She paused and looked down at her watch, paling. "Shit! Blacky must be going nuts! I was supposed to go watch a movie with him five hours ago!" 

"He'll be fine. Knowing him he probably fell asleep on the couch again," Duncan offered, trying to calm her down. 

"No. He was waiting for me.... dammit! If only Zel hadn't--" she paused in mid-step and looked back the way they had come, frowning for a moment before grabbing Duncan's arm and leaping into a huge tree. 

"What-?" 

"Shh! Someone's coming," she whispered as she pulled him up onto a thick branch next to her, both of them crouching as they stared down at the ground below. _All those times of trying to avoid Xellos must be paying off. I heard Dinobot coming before he even saw us, and he's the one of the best trackers I know. Other than Malcho that is._

Duncan tapped her arm lightly and pointed to the raptor that emerged from the ferns, seeing Lashana nod before a sphere of light appeared in her right hand. "What are you going to do?" 

She grinned and placed her left index finger over her lips, signaling for him to be quiet as she looked down at the Maximal below. Once he had passed the tree they were hiding in, she silently dropped down to the ground and crept around the tree before launching the spell. _This ought to be good...._

A soft chuckle escaped her as the sphere sped forward to circle the startled Dinobot a few times before bouncing off his head and returning to hover over her outstretched left palm. When she looked up, she was greeted with the sight of a rather pissed raptor, and she couldn't help but snicker at the sight. "You make too much noise." 

"You dare to--" 

"Save it," she sighed, a quick gesture obliterating the light sphere. "I don't care. Why are you stalking us?" 

"Lashana!!" 

_CRACK!_

She yelped and lept backwards, barely avoiding Duncan as he fell out of the tree and slammed face first into the ground. "Oy.... Duncan? You okay?" 

He rose his head and spat out a fern leaf. "What do you think?" 

"That it's a miracle you've survived this long," Dinobot rumbled, elicting a snicker from the Elf. 

"Yeah I know. He makes more noise than you do," she muttered as she rose a hand to rub at her aching temple. 

"Optimus wants to speak with you." 

She groaned. "Look. I already told you why I'm here. What more do you want from me?" 

The beast-moded raptor shook his head. "The jungle's edge is just ahead. He's going to meet us there." 

She growled under her breath and hauled Duncan to his feet, waiting until the immortal had finished brushing dirt off of himself before heading for the supposed clearing. 

"You're not going to kill them, are you?" Duncan murmured to her, trying not to be overheard by the following Maximal. 

"I'll try to warn you before I start throwing fireballs," she grumbled irritably, slowing so he'd be able to keep pace with her as they walked through some dense underbrush. "I just want to find the others and go home. That's not supposed to be a difficult thing to do!" 

"It could be worse," he offered, drawing her curious gaze. "Xellos could be with us." 

A shudder went through her at the thought. "Point." She paused as the jungle tapered off into sparse vegetation and looked around warily before leaving the safety of the shadowed trees. "If I remember correctly, the Pred base is thatta way. You up for a flight, Duncan? Or would you rather I just knock you senseless and carry you there unconscious?" 

"I think I've been spending too much time being unconscious during this little fiasco," he grumbled, glaring at the ground for a moment before sighing. "Alright." 

"Kewl! _RAYWING!!_" She grabbed his arm and lifted him into the air with her, looking at Dinobot apologetically. "We don't have time to waste. If you and Optimus still insist on talking to me then y'all can pile onto that hoverboard of his and fly with us. Otherwise...." she shrugged and flew higher, "we gotta go. Smack Rattrap around a few times for me!" 

"Who's 'Rattrap'?" Duncan asked as she headed for what seemed to be a barren lava filled wasteland. 

"Think of him as a male version of Telca. Always a pain in the neck and proud of it." 

Duncan shuddered. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Zelgadis sighed heavily and rubbed at his tired eyes. He wanted so much to sleep. _But there was something he was forgetting....what was it? If I had a cup of coffee I'd be able to remember. Dammit.... what's so important that it's keeping me awake? _He sighed again and shrugged. _Whatever it is can't be too important if I can't remember it._

"Why hello up there! Are you new here?" 

He blinked at the cheerful voice and moved closer to the bars of his cage, blinking many more times as he stared at the female form on the platform across from him._ Why does she look so familiar?_

"Would you like some muffins? I made them myself!" the woman was saying. 

Zelgadis frowned and peered at her. She was definately human... or at least humanoid. Her burgundy hair was done up in curls that looked like Shirley Temple's worst nightmare, and the smile on her face was just too sugar-sweet for words. Add to that the pink and white maid's outfit she was wearing and Zelgadis was developing a twitch from just looking at her. 

But it was what she said next that jogged his memory into full panic, reminding him of something Lashana had said when they had been fighting over the talisman, making him shriek in horror and retreat to the far corner of his cage. 

"By the way! I'm Telcatwo!" 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"Was that Zel?" Duncan frowned as he tilted his head back to look up at Lashana curiously. 

"Dunno. I've never heard _anyone_ shriek like that. Sounds like a canary being shoved into a rusty meat grinder." 

"That's sick." 

"Cope," the Elf muttered as she slowed to hover in the air, looking around at the desolate surroundings. "Ick. Martha Stewart would have a heart-attack at the sight of this dump." 

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Duncan snickered. A low whine made him twist around in her grasp to look over at the oncoming Maximal. "We've got company." 

"No shit!" she yelled as she banked sharply, a blaster shot managing to graze her left shoulder before she twisted in mid-air, narrowly avoiding dozens of others. "Try to roll when you land!" 

"_WHAT?!?!_" He never got a chance to object as she dove downwards until she was a few feet from the ground, releasing him as she flew upwards again. The impact drove the breath from his lungs, and he felt something in his arm snap before his brain overrided his body's desire to panic, making him turn his dangerous cartwheel into a controlled roll that sent him up onto his feet. _Thank the Gods for karate lessons...._

Lashana threw herself sideways to avoid another shot and cursed when the ribbon holding her hair in place snapped, momentarily blinding her with her own hair. A glimpse through the curtain of white showed her the perfect landing spot, and she hasitly dove to land on top of a tall stalactite, automaticly raising a shield around herself as she looked for the source of the attacks. 

"Are you insane?! Get down from there!" 

She blinked and looked down at a familiar raptor, watching as he transformed into a tall warrior robot. "Where are they?" 

"Didn't you hear me?! Get down!" 

_Fine! Don't listen to me!_ An impact on her shield made her glance towards an outcropping of rock almost thirty meters ahead, and she couldn't quite stop a crazed grin from spreading over her lips. _Finally!_ "Duncan!! Fire in the hole!!" 

Not waiting for a reply, she lowered her shield and rose her hands, dimly aware that a battle aura had flared up around her as a newly born breath of wind lifted her hair off her shoulders. "_Darkness beyond twilight! Crimson beyond blood that flows, buried in the flow of time! In thy great name I pledge myself to darkness! Let all the fools who stand before us be destroyed by the power you and I possess!! DRAGON SLAVE!!!!!!_" 

It was ten minutes before the debris and dust settled enough for her to be able to see the ground at the base of the spire she was perched on, and she smirked at the sight of a gaping Dinobot. Grinning manicly, she casually wove her flight spell and floated down to land next to him, stretching contentedly once she was on firm ground. "Ahhh! Man that felt good!" 

He turned from his catatonic staring of the large crater in front of them and looked at her in shock. "By the Pit....how did you--?" 

"You just had to do it, didn't you?" Duncan laughed as he approached them unknowingly cutting Dinobot off. "No minor spells for you, no way, you have to use one of the most powerful ones and obliterate most of the landscape!" 

"Of course! It's my calling card!" she beamed happily. "That and it's a great stress reliever!" 

"You could have just knocked them out with a sleep spell." 

"Awww. But where's the fun in that?!" 

Duncan chuckled at her pouting whine and shook his head. "You're insane." 

"_Why_ do people keep saying that like it's a bad thing?" she frowned, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned back against a boulder and glared over at Duncan. 

"Because it is. Or at least it's supposed to be." 

"Hmpft." She looked away from the immortal and gazed over at the decimated looking ship nearby. "Well.... I suppose we should go see if we can rescue the clone..." 

"Do we have to?" Duncan asked with a shiver. "Isn't one of Telca enough?" 

Lashana shrugged and reached out to smack Dinobot's left arm. "Close your mouth. Yer catchin flies." Ignoring the stunned look he gave her, she retied her hair and scrambled up onto the top of a large rock. "Okay.... You wanna stay here Duncan or are you coming with?" 

"I'll take my chances with the twitching robot," the immortal said quickly. "You fly like a maniac." 

_Why, oh why, do people keep saying that like it's a bad thing?!_ She sighed and wove her flight spell, smiling as she lept into the air. "Suit yourself, Duncan. I'll be back soon. Oh, and someone wanna go pry Optimus out from under that rock? I think he got too close to the blast zone." 

Dinobot blinked and followed her pointing finger over to where a single leg could be seen spasming from it's half-buried position under a boulder, staring at the sight for a moment before growling. "Slag." 


	8. Hasta-la-bye-bye Blender Butt

_Disclaimer: We own nothing but ourselves and our Ideas. That is all._

_Words between ~ ~ are telepathic thoughts. Don't look at me like that, we've got a psychic pokemon in the gang! It's not my fault I tell you!_   
  


Zelgadis heaved a sigh of relief as he pulled himself up onto level ground and lay down on his back, staring up at the ceiling while he gasped for breath. He was certain that Lashana was in the area. The familiar-sounding explosions were a testement for that.... _You'd think that big psycho robots could build stronger cages...._

A pop from the lava in the pit made him roll onto his side to peer down at the barely discernable edge of the cage as it finished sinking into the magma, and he thanked any and all the Gods he could think of that he had managed to escape with his life. _Good thing the floor of the cage fell out, else I'd be down there finding out if half-golums melt in lava._ He rose his hands and grimaced at the ache in his fingers, his shoulders aching at the mere memory of the exerting climb back up onto level ground. _Well....I'm alive and out of the cage....now what?_

Deciding that he'd better get moving before one of the robots or Telcatwo returned - the latter had gone to get him some orange bran cookies a while ago - he hauled himself to his feet and looked around, frowning in perplextion when he spotted three corridor entrances nearby. _Which way do I go? Oh Gods if only I had some coffee...._ _Oh well....ennie, minne, miny, moe...._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Lashana cackled as she launched a fireball at an automated gun turret and did a fancy backflip in mid-air, loosing another spell as she did so. _Okay. This is booooring!_

~Lashana!~ 

The call startled her, almost making her plummet from the sky as she spun in a complete circle, looking for the source of the voice. "'Two?" 

~I'm almost there!~ The pokemon's psychic voice sounded strained, but relieved. ~Gods, but it's good to hear you! I've been searching for you for hours! I thought you were dead!~ 

"We both know I'm too stubborn for that to happen," she chuckled as she lobbed a blast of lightning at the last turret. 

A chuckle rumbled through her thoughts. ~True. Still, it's good to sense you again.~ 

Lashana snickered. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you're starting to get attached to me." 

~Just a little. My Gods....what happened to this place? It's so desolate!~ 

This time she managed to get a faint inkling of where he was, making her turn westwards to peer at the faint glowing blue form on the horizon. "Lots of volcanic activity in this area I guess...." she murmured, compltetely distracted. 

That cost her. 

"For the Royalty!" 

_What the flamin' hell?!_ The Elf spun at the yell and barely managed to dodge the burst of fire that came at her. "Hey! Watch it! This is a new shirt!! Whoa!" She banked to the right and twisted to stare at the Predacon. _Which one is this again? C'mon Elf, you've seen all the eppys.... Oh yeah. Inferno. Beast-mode of an ant, brains of a dustmite. But he does, however, have firepower in his 'bot mode. Literally...._

~Lashana!~ 

"Not now!" she growled as she taxed her already low strength and threw an ice arrow at the Pred, cursing when he easily dodged. _Crap. I can't weave major spells and fly at the same time! And if I try to land he'll just shoot me.... Okay, plan B.... Oh, wait,...I don't HAVE a plan B. This could be a problem._ A low cackle made her glance to her left, and she cursed when she stared right into the barrel of Inferno's gun. _Craaaaap._

~Lookout!~ 

"Wha? _Oof!_" The force that impacted with her side sent her reeling through the air, and she was dimly aware of arms wrapping around her as she clung to her consciousness. _Helllloooo pain...._

~Lashana? _Lashana?!_ Oh Gods, I've killed her! Lashana!~ 

The frantic telepathic presence tugged at her thoughts, making her crack an eye open to look up into Mewtwo's panicked gaze. "M'not dead." _Note to self: the big psycho pokemon has to go on a freakin' diet...._ "That hurt, y'know." 

He sighed and held her tighter as he rose a shield around them, protecting them from the robot's flamethrower. ~I'm sorry. I didn't mean to tackle you that hard.~ 

She winced and shifted slightly in his arms to glare over at the flying robot. _What had someone had called him? Ah yes, Blender-Butt. Heehee.... rather fitting too...._ "I'd love to waste a Dragon Slave on this wacko but..." 

~Allow me,~ Mewtwo smirked as he freed his right hand from around her waist and gathered an attack, looking at the black sphere of psychic energy for a moment before launching it at the robot. 

"He can dodge, y'know." 

~Not this he can't. Watch.~ 

Curious, Lashana stared at the attack, her eyes widening when it suddenly split up into ten equal balls and converged on the Predacon, the resulting explosion knocking him from the sky. "'Two. You have _got_ to teach me how to do that!" 

He chuckled and returned his free arm to her waist, feeling her own arms encircle his middle as she clung to him. ~In time,~ he promised before looking down at her. ~Your energy's low. Are you hurt?~ 

"Nah. Just tired. Been wandering around with Duncan for almost six hours. That an we met up with the Maximals, who are about as helpful as a hippo with a hernia," she paused and sighed heavily. "It's been a long day." 

~So I see. Is that the ship where Telcatwo is?~ 

"Yeppers! I was just about to let myself in when you called." 

~Well then, shall we?~ 

She grinned. "Oh, hell yes."   
  
  
  
  
  


_So? Should I continue or what??_


	9. We got the Clone....now what?

_Insert usual Disclaimer here_   
__   
__

We got the Clone...now what?   


"This place needs an interior decorator..._badly_," Lashana muttered to Mewtwo as the two of them crept down a dark hallway. "I can't see _shit_ in here!" 

~Then stay close to me,~ Mewtwo chuckled as he reached out to pull her close, privately glad that he could see perfectly in the darkness as he kept her from bumping into a wall. ~And try to stay silent, sounds echo loudly in here. Simply think what you wish to speak, I will hear you.~ 

_At this point in time I don't think you really want me to do that, 'Two._ She stiffled a yelp when her boot caught on something and grabbed at Mewtwo's arm, barely managing to catch herself. _Son of a fu-_

Mewtwo rolled his eyes at the long and colourful string of curses that followed and merely stopped walking, waiting until she had calmed down enough before speaking. ~Here. Climb onto my back. I'll carry you.~ Even in the darkness, he knew she was looking at him in shock. ~You're liable to kill yourself...or me. Climb up. I'll be able to move faster without having to worry about you walking into a wall.~ 

_Gee, thanks._ She made sure to put as much sarcasm into that thought as she could as she hesitantly reached out and touched his shoulder, feeling him crouch slightly and turn so his back was to her. _'Two, I can't see what I'm doing._

~I can. Just take a single step forward and rest your hands on my shoulders. I'll do the rest.~ 

She sighed and did as she was told, shivering as she felt him reach back to pull her closer, his arms cradling her as he slowly got to his feet, then levitated off the floor. Startled by the sudden sensation of the ceiling against her head, she yelped and threw her arms around his shoulders, clinging to him tightly as he flew forwards. _Are you completely INSANE?!_

~According to you I am,~ he chuckled. 

_Ooooh. Funny._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Zelgadis grumbled to himself as he crouched in an air vent, staring down at the large robot that was perched on a floating chair. Judging by the things armour, he guessed that it was the same 'Barney on crack' thing that had thrown him into that cage in the first place. _Ought to launch a fireball at him for good measure.... except I'm way outnumbered.... _He shifted and peered over at the others. One looked like a giant crab, the other two were obviously spiders.... _Love to see Lashana's reactions to those two... And speaking of the Elf...._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"Light! Blessed blessed light!" 

Mewtwo smirked as she hopped off his back and took a moment to stretch before he followed her towards the light at the end of the hallway. ~Slow down. We don't know if anyone else is here.~ 

"I don't care. If anyone else _is _here, then they can give me Zelgadis and I'll repay them with a fireball or three," the Elf said as she stalked towards the doorway, slowing when she heard voices. 

"See? Doesn't it taste better when you add a bit more brown sugar?" 

"Zugar alwayz good!" 

_Speech therapy's one true failure...._ She sighed and peeked around the corner, frowning when she saw Waspinator standing with his back to the door. _Bedamned CR Chambers!! It fixed all the fun damage caused by my Dragon Slave!! Grrr...._

~You are _not_ loosing another spell while we're in here!~ Mewtwo chastised her as he grabbed her arm and yanked her away from the door. ~You'll bring this entire place down around us!~ 

She grumbled and jerked free. "Fine," she whispered, grinning moments later. "I'll wait till we're outside." 

~Oh for the love of....~ 

"_Psst!_ Lashana!" 

Both she and Mewtwo froze and glanced around, trying to pinpoint the source of the frantic whisper. 

"Up here!" 

Lashana blinked and looked up, staring at Zelgadis where he was lying in an air vent. "What the hell are you doing in there?!" 

"Hiding! There's some big wacko robots after me! They found out that I got out of that damned cage they had put me in," the chimera told her as he shifted in the cramped confines of the vent. "What are you doing here?" 

~Looking for you!~ 

"Well you found me!" He kicked the grate aside and dropped to the floor, grabbing Lashana's arm as he headed down the corridor. "Can we leave now?! Please?!" 

"I _thought_ I heard voices out here!" 

Zelgadis screamed. 

Lashana blinked and turned to face the owner of the new voice, her jaw dropping open in pure shock when she saw Telca's double standing directly in front of her, a cheerful smile plastered on her face as she held a plate of muffins out to them, her pink and white maid's outfit accenting the little butterfly clips in her hair. 

"Want a muffin?" 

Lashana and Mewtwo joined Zelgadis in screaming. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Duncan jumped at the trio of screams that came from the nearby ship and glanced at Dinobot. "Do we even want to know?" 

"Probably not." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"This is all _your fault!!_" Lashana screamed at Mewtwo as the trio ran down a corridor. 

~Me?! Why _me?!_~ 

"Because this was _your_ stupid idea!!" 

"Will you two _shut up_ and _run?!_" Zelgadis yelled as he skidded around a corner, tripped on something and crashed face first onto the metal floor. Unfortunately, Lashana and Mewtwo had been following too closely to avoid him, thus he found himself at the bottom of a painful dogpile of people. 

"Well... isn't _this _a wonderful turn of events," Lashana snarled as she dazedly rose her head and shook it, hoping to clear her muddled thoughts. A low growl made her look up, blinking as she stared down the barrel of a very large gun. "Uh.... Heh heh.... Would you believe that we're selling Girl Guide Cookies?" Sounds of various weapons being cocked answered her. "Nuts." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"I'm right back where I started!!" Zelgadis wailed. 

"Shaddup!" Lashana snarled from where she was pacing the length of the cage, occasionally glancing down at the lava pit below them. "Mewtwo-" 

~I know. I know. This is all my fault,~ the pokemon grumbled. ~Will you stop moving? You're making the cage swing.~ 

She growled and stomped her foot against the 'floor'. "This _bites!_" She spun and slammed a fist against a bar, yelping when her hand sent waves of pain up her arm. 

Zelgadis sighed at the torrent of curses that came from the Elf and casually reached up from where he was sitting on the floor to smack her. "That's not going to help. Can't you open a portal and get us a chainsaw or something." 

"Love to," she grumbled, throwing herself to the floor. "But my magick's all screwy. I can't open _any_ portals." 

~You didn't tell me that,~ Mewtwo frowned, turning away from the bars to look down at her. 

"You didn't ask. Besides, there's not much that can be done about that now, is there?" She sighed and lay down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling of the cage as she laced her fingers behind her head. "Why exactly won't you teleport us out of here 'Two?" 

~Because we can't just leave Telca's clone here,~ he said, earning himself doubtful looks from both Lashana and Zelgadis. ~We can't!~ 

"Alright, alright," the Elf muttered. "Then how the flamin' hell are we gonna get her out of here if you won't teleport us out of this cage?" 

"You really are out of your minds, you know that?!" Zelgadis cried. "Why do we have to bring her back?" 

~We can't just leave her here!~ 

"Why not?!" 

Lashana sighed as she listened to the loud bickering for a moment before jumping to her feet and standing in between the two males. "Shut. Up!" She glared at them as silence fell over the dungeon. "This is _not_ hepling the situation. Now. Mewtwo, you are going to teleport us out of this cage else I am going to loose a full power Dragon Sla-" She cut herself off as they suddenly found themselves standing on the edge of the pit, free of the cage. "That's better. Zel, I'm gonna need to borrow your cape." 

Mewtwo looked at her curiously for a moment before shivering at the evil glint in her eyes. ~We're all going to die....~ 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"_DRAGON SLAVE!!!_" 

Duncan jumped at the cry and spun to look at the ship as a large portion of it exploded outwards, staring as three figures bolted from the scene. "That would be Lashana." 

"Do tell," Optimus grumbled. 

"Ack! How long have you been awake?!" the Immortal yelped, spinning around to look at the transmetal ape in shock. 

"Long enough to know that Megatron's gonna be extremely ticked at your friend." 

"Oh. Don't worry, Lashana can take care of...." he trailed off as numerous gun turrets emerged from hidden places in the ships outer hull, all of them swiveling to target the runners before opening fire. "....herself? Oh Gods...." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"_MEWTWO!! _This is _all your fault!!!_" 

~Shut up and keep running!!~ 

"What does it look like we're doing?! Knitting a sweater?!" 

_WHACK!_ "Ow!" 

~Forgot he was one-third golum again, didn't you?~ Mewtwo smirked as he looked over at a wincing Lashana, chuckling when all he got as a response was a glare. 

She grimaced and sped up, running next to Zelgadis as he struggled to keep the bag she had made out of his cloak from hitting the ground. A laser blast skimmed her right cheek, and she growled as she skidded to a stop, using her momentum to spin herself around as she did so. _Okay... I'm not recovered enough to weave another Dragon Slave.... what does that leave me?_ "Zel!! I need a lift!!" 

The chimera glanced back at her and tossed the bag to Mewtwo as he altered directions. "Gotcha!" He grinned and broke out into a full run, using all of his demon speed. Just as he was about to crash into her, he wove a Raywing spell, grabbing her shoulders as he shot into the sky, bringing her along for the ride. "What's the plan?" 

"Get to cloud level, then drop me!" 

"_WHAT?!_" 

"Just make sure you catch me before I hit the ground!" she cried as she smacked him, startling him into dropping her. _Ooooh, I really really hope this works...._ Ignoring the cries of horror from Mewtwo and Duncan, she rose her arms, narrowing her eyes against the wind as she kept falling towards the ship below her. _Shoot at me will you? Take this! _"_DYNAST BRASS!!!_" 

A red outline of a pentagram appeared around her falling form, flicking there for an instant before she threw her arms downwards and outwards, a cry of defiance leaving her as the five pointed star quadrupled in size and vanished from around her only to appear around the Predacon ship below her. _Gotta move fast...._ "_ZEL!!_" 

The chimera dove after her as red and black lightning began to strike the five points of the pentagram - as if the spell was confriming it's target - before thousands of lightning bolts filled the outline, hitting everything within it's borders. What panicked him was that Lashana was falling right towards the spell.... "I've gotcha!" 

She gasped and clung to him, curling her arms around his waist in a death grip as he stopped their fall and flew backwards, putting distance between themselves and the spell. "....that went well." 

"You're insane, you know that?" 

"When in doubt, go with your strengths," she chuckled weakly, resting her cheek against his left shoulder as she tried to get her heart to return to a normal rhythm. _Can Elves have heart-attacks?_ Lashana sighed and closed her eyes as Zelgadis landed near the group, yelping when Mewtwo grabbed her shoulders and yanked her away from the chimera, shaking her roughly. 

~Are you completely out of your mind?! You could have been killed!~ 

She smirked and gently pushed him away, pulling out of his hold. "I love you too. And don't shake me again, else I might throw up on you." A incredulous mutter to her left made her glance over at Optimus, and she bared her fangs in an insane grin as she turned to look at him. "Well, well. Look who managed to dig himself out from under a rock. Hello. You have to learn how to dodge." _Oh look. He IS capable of glaring. Hehe._

"What's in the bag?" Duncan frowned, nudging the sack made out of Zelgadis' cloak with the toe of his left boot. 

~Telca's clone,~ Mewtwo answered, smirking when the Immortal leapt away from the bag, eyeing it warily. ~Don't worry. Zelgadis used a sleep spell on her. She won't be waking up for a good ten hours.~ 

"Lucky her," Lashana grumbled, reaching back to rub at the small of her back, grimacing in pain. "I'm getting too old for this." 

"You're twenty-two," Zelgadis smirked. 

She glared at him and rubbed a kink out of her neck. "It's the wear and tear. The warranty's run out. Anywho, any idea how the hell we're supposed to get home?" 

~You're _sure_ you can't open any portals?~ When she sent him a venomous glare, Mewtwo winced and glanced away. ~Just making sure.~ 

"Maybe we'd better continue this conversation in a less.... hostile environment," Optimus suggested as numerous screams of outrage were heard from the direction of the Predacon ship. 

Lashana sighed and nodded. "Yeah. Zel? Can you carry unconscious Telca-clone?" 

"If she moves, I'm dropping her into a lava pit," the chimera grumbled as he took the bag from Mewtwo, wincing when Lashana glared at him. "Er... or not." 

She growled at him, then glanced at the Maximals. "How far's your Base?" 

"Oh.... a good megacycle's walk from here." 

_What the hell's a megacycle?!_ "Riiight. 'Two? Hack and teleport please." 

The Pokemon smirked and gathered his psychic power, discreetly easing himself into Optimus' mind and using his memories to teleport the group directly in front of the delapadated Maximal ship. ~Oh. My. Gods....~ 

"Whoa.... And I thought it looked bad in the series. Yo, talk about your fixer-uppers. Dragon Slaving it would only be an improvment!" Lashana muttered as she eyed the ship, dimly aware that Dinobot and Optimus were staring at her warily. 

Zelgadis dropped the makeshift bag and looked around. "What happened to this place? It's like a wasteland!" 

"Aliens," Lashana murmured distractedly as she eyed the ship. 

"How do you know so much about us?" Optimus frowned, meeting her tired gaze when she turned to look at him. 

"It's a long story. The condensed version is that we're from a dimension where worlds interlace. Like a dimensional crossroads of sorts. In one of the crossroading dimensions, your....escapades are actually television shows," she told him, glancing over at Dinobot when he snarled. 

"You mean, we're a form of....entertainment?!" 

"Bingo. But dimensions are funny that way. If it makes you feel better, y'all have a lot of fanclubs." She grimaced as Duncan started tapping her shoulder insistantly and fwapped him. "What?!" 

"Um...we have a problem," the Immortal told her as he directed her attention to the horizon. 

She turned and rose a hand to shield her eyes from the sun, peering at the sky for a moment before shrugging. "I see squat." 

The two Maximals followed her gaze. "Predacons," Dinobot growled, lowering his gaze from the sky. "Three fliers and the two spiders." 

Lashana paled. "Spiders?!"   
  
  



	10. Beware! Ranting Elf ahead!

_Disclaimer: We own nothing but ourselves and our Ideas. That is all._   
__

Beware! Ranting Elf ahead!   
  


Mewtwo looked over at the near panicked Lashana and reached out to lie a hand on her shoulder. ~Calm down. You've seen the shows. You should know what to expect.~ 

"Just because I know what to expect doesn't mean that I'm going to miraculously lose my fear of spiders!" she grumbled, resisting the urge to whack him. 

"You're afraid of _spiders?!_" Dinobot asked, snickering when she nodded. 

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you. The last time she was exposed to spiders she nearly leveled a five story building," Duncan told the raptor-bot, avoiding the Elf's annoyed glare as he did so. 

Zelgaids sighed and looked over at Lashana. "How much energy do you have left?" 

"Enough for a few minor spells or one major," the Elf replied, glancing at the chimera curiously. "More if I push myself. Why?" 

"I have a plan." 

"Why do I get the feeling of imminent doom?" Optimus muttered to himself. 

Mewtwo sighed and rose a hand to massage his aching temple. ~We're all going to die.~ 

"Boss-monkey!" 

"Ack!" Lashana yelped at the call and attached herself to Mewtwo, a fireball appearing in her right hand before she realized where the yell had come from. 

~You need to switch to decaf,~ Mewtwo smirked. 

"Shaddup," she grumbled as she detached herself from him and casually juggled the fireball while she gazed over at the nearing Rattrap and Cheetor. _Why me, Gods? Why? Why can't one of these adventures land me in Maui?! Or Cancun? Or even my Parents place?!_ She sighed and glanced over at the horizon again, frowning when she saw three distinct forms flying towards them. "Zel? About that plan?" 

"I'm working on it!" 

~Have I mentioned that we're all going to die?~ 

"Yes, 'Two. You have," she muttered, glancing over at the gathering of Maximals and baring her fangs when Rattrap looked in her direction. _Just because I'm stranded here doesn't mean I can't frighten the locals a little._

"Hey, they're getting pretty close," Duncan commented. "And why does one of them look like Barney?" 

Lashana snickered. "I have plenty of theories, but no time to get into them. Zel! Scrap the plan, just blow them out of the sky!" 

The chimera grumbled, but nodded. "You sure you can weave more spells?" 

"Is Duncan tone-deaf?" 

"Hey! I resent that!" 

"Cope! Zel, use an Arc Brass. I'll try to work up another full power Dragon Slave." _Which is easier said than done considering that I'm so tired I could curl up and fall asleep right here...._ "'Two? Can ya do another one of those black sphere attacks?" 

~Easily.~ 

"Kewl. All together when I finish the spell...." 

"Big bot? What are they doing?" Cheetor whispered, gesturing to the three strangers that now hand auras of power around them. 

Optimus frowned and followed the bot's gaze, sighing in exasperation moments later when he heard the Elf start to chant an incantation. "Not again..." 

"_Darkness beyond twilight! Crimson beyond blood that flows, buried in the flow of time. In thy great name I pledge myself to darkness! Let all the fools that stand before me be destroyed by the power you and I possess!_" Lashana threw her hands forward, taking careful aim. "_DRAGON SLAVE!!_" 

The blast that left her hands sent her staggering backwards, and she gasped as she fought to keep the spell under control, not wanting to miss her target. _Better not miss, I can't muster up enough energy to loose another one of these!_ A cry from her left made her glance over at Zelgadis as he gritted his teeth and made a rough gesture in the air, making lightning rain down from a clear sky to mere with the beam of her own attack, doubling it's power. "'Two! Now!" 

The pokemon nodded and summoned all his power, spreading his arms wide as ten black energy spheres formed around him, crackling with power as they hovered in mid air. A smirk spread over his lips as he brought his hands together in a sharp gesture, the multiple psychic energy attacks shooting forward to join with the magickal ones that his friends had loosed. 

Duncan gaped at the sight for a moment before rational thought reared it's ugly head. "Oh. My. Gods. _GET DOWN!!_" 

**_KABOOOM!!!_**

And thus the Beast Wars Planet lost another huge chunk of it's landscape. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"....stop the Universe....I wanna get off....." 

"I think she's coming to." 

~No really? What was your first clue?~ 

"Eh, shaddup. Thanks ta ya and yer psycho girlfriend here, there's a fifty meter wide crater where one of our posts used ta be!" 

~It's not our fault if you people don't have enough brains to properly shield your things.~ 

"Why I oughta--!" 

Lashana winced as the warring voices yanked her into the realm of the conscious and rose a hand to her head. "Ooooh, my achin' head.... What hit me?" 

~Lashana? Here, hold still.~ 

She felt someone lie a hand on her forehead and sighed in relief when the mind-numbing pain faded from her skull, letting her crack an eye open to look up into familiar amethyst eyes. "Mmm. Thanks 'Two." 

~Are you alright?~ he frowned as he helped her to sit up. 

"Yeah. Yeah, m'okay," she murmured as she looked around, grimacing when she saw Rattrap standing nearby. "I suppose it was too much to hope that this was all a dream brought on by Duncan's cooking...." 

~I wouldn't call what he does 'cooking'.~ 

She snickered softly, then turned her attention to the transmetal rat. "Quit staring, vermin." 

He blinked at her for a moment, then groaned. "Great. She's just like Chopperface!" 

"I live to torment. 'Two? Give me a hand, will ya?" she asked, wincing when he obligingly reached down and helped her to her feet. "Where the flamin' hell are we, anyway?" 

"Inside the Axalon," Rattrap told her. "Ya did a good job redoing the landscape. Left a fifty meter wide crater behind." 

"Really?" she beamed, baring her fangs in an insane grin. "Kewl!" 

~You shouldn't do that to people,~ Mewtwo chuckled in her mind as the Maximal sputtered in shock. 

She chuckled and clung to him to keep herself standing as she looked over at Rattrap again. "Well? Are ya gonna make us stand here all day or what? Where's Zel and Duncan? Or Primal? Or Dinobot? Hello?" she stretched out an arm and rapped her knuckles against his skull. "Is anyone in there? Hello?!" 

Mewtwo rolled his eyes as the 'bot swatted Lashana's hand away, then sent a warning glare in the rat's direction when it looked like he was going to pull a weapon on them. ~Don't even think about it.~ 

"Oh this is hopeless. I'll find them on my own," she muttered as she pushed away from the pokemon and staggered over to the open door, sticking her head out into the hallway. "Yo! Rock-boy!!" There was an annoyed 'don't call me that!' from her left, and she chuckled as she followed the irritated grumblings of the chimera. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"Hey! You're alright!" 

"Of course I--ack!" The last was due to the fact that she now had an Immortal attached to her. "Duncan....can't....breathe...." 

The Immortal blinked, then loosened his hold on her. "Oops. Sorry!" 

She gasped for breath for a moment before irritably fwaping him, frowning when he still didn't let go of her. "Duncan?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Kindly get off before I rip off something that won't grow back." She had never seen a male back away so quickly in her life. "That's better." 

"You should have said you didn't have enough power for another spell," Zelgadis admonished her from where he was leaned back against a wall, his arms folded over his chest. 

"I did have power for the spell. I just didn't have the energy to stay conscious afterwards," she smirked, looking around as she did so. They were in the Axalon's bridge, and she arched an eyebrow curiously when she saw Optimus, Dinobot, Cheetor and Rhinox staring at her. "Now what?" 

"Eh, sorry boss-monkey. She wandered off." 

"No. I _left_," she growled, sending a glare in Rattrap's direction as he and Mewtwo joined the group. "You we're being as helpful as a gnat, so I took off. 'Sides, it's not like I didn't know where to find everyone." The last was directed to Zelgadis, who smirked at her. 

"Nice to know I can be of service," he chuckled. "You should sit down, you look like you're about to pass out again." 

"M'fine." A quick glance to her left showed Rhinox pointing something in her direction, and rolled her eyes in exasperation as she went to join Zel in leaning against the wall. "Well?" 

Mewtwo looked from her to the Maximal, frowning when he saw what the 'bot was doing. He growled softly and stepped in front of the Elf, eyes glowing slightly before the device sparked and started smoking, elicting an annoyed mutter from the large robot. ~I don't take kindly to people who try to scan us without asking.~ 

Optimus frowned and glanced at Rhinox before looking at the Pokemon. "We didn't mean any harm. It's just that your friend is apparently radiating power." 

~That's no excuse to--~ 

"'Two. S'okay," Lashana murmured, cutting him off as she reached out to lie a hand on his left arm, frowning when she felt how tense he was. _Geez, he's so on edge that he's liable to snap at any moment!_ Now that she knew what she was looking for, the signs were very obvious. The slight shimmer around him, the way his tail was lightly thumping against the floor, the blue sheen to his eyes. All spelled one thing : big trouble. She gasped and moved to stand in front of him, her back to the Maximals as she looked up at him. "Mewtwo! Mewtwo, chill. It's okay." 

He looked from the Maximals to her, meeting her worried gaze for a moment before sighing. ~I need some air.~ 

"Wha--" she took a startled step back as he vanished, then clenched her hands into fists and growled. "Lovely. This is just freakin' lovely. Zel, this is all your fault." 

"Me?! Why me?" 

"If you hadn't tried to steal that gods-be-damned talisman, none of this would have happened!" 

"Hey, wait a minute! You're the one's who tried to steal it from me!" 

"You stay out of this!" she snarled, glaring at Duncan murderously before she turned her attention back to the chimera. "It would have been _so _easy! We could have just tracked that stupid clone down, knocked her out and been back home in time for lunch. But _noooOOOooo_. _You_ had to try to steal it! So now, we've been stuck here for almost an entire day, I'm tired, sore, I can't use my portals, I've been stuck with the Immortal _all damn day_, my Soul-Bonded is probably going insane with worry, and now, _now_, I have to worry about Mewtwo having a nervous breakdown, _and we still don't know if we can get home!! _And Gods-dammit will you people stop staring at me!?!" The last was directed at the Maximals, who all flinched as she spun to look at them. 

The pause that followed her rant was so silent that a gnat could have farted and it would have sounded like an A-Bomb. 

"....are you done?" Optimus asked, wincing when she glared at him. 

"I haven't even _begun!_" she snapped, fangs bared in a feral snarl. "You people are supposed to be the good guys here! You're supposed to _help_ people! Instead I get stuck with the pain in the arse raptor who doesn't believe a word I say despite the fact that he damn well _saw_ the portal, you were _no help_ what so ever, I get shot at by the big metallic Barney Reject, - godsdammit Rhinox if you point that thing at me one more time I'm gonna hurt you - I get locked up in a cage that's hanging above the lava pit of doom, I drain myself trying to save the lot of us from certain pain, and then I wake up to _the rat!_ _The Rat! _Who's even more annoying than the Immortal!" 

"I'm really starting to resent that," Duncan muttered sourly. 

Zelgadis grabbed the Immortal and clamped a hand over his mouth. "Shut up! I've never seen her this mad before." 

"Mrli?" 

"Yes, really. And I'll bet you anything that the only person that can calm her down is who knows how may dimensions away." 

"Wr'll gnn'd." 

"Huh?" 

"He said 'we're all gonna die'," Lashana muttered, glancing back at them over her shoulder and smirking at Zel's look of shock. "Superior Elven hearing, remember?" 

He nodded franticly, not liking the very visible battle-aura that was swirling around her. "H-hai!" 

"Are you finished now?" 

She grimaced and looked over at a rather calm Optimus, quirking an eyebrow when she saw that the others were looking at her warily. "That all depends on what you're planning to say." 

"I was going to say that you're completely right." 

_Wow. Finally. Someone finally admits it._ "Oh?" 

"Um...Lashana? Maybe you should power down the battle aura," Zelgadis whispered, catching her surprised glance before she looked down at herself. 

"Huh. Didn't even realize I was channeling," she muttered as she let her aura fade. 

"Channeling?" 

She looked over at Dinobot and shrugged. "Whenever I get mad I channel the energy into my aura. So that I don't lose all the energy I gain from almost losing my temper." 

"Almost?!" Rattrap yelped. 

"Mm hm." 

"We'll try to stay on your good side then," Cheetor murmured, looking at her apologetically. "And you'll get used to Rattrap." 

"Really?" 

"Well....no. Not really," he chuckled, expertly ducking the smack that Rattrap aimed at him. 

There was a low growl from Dinobot. "The urge to kill the vermin never really goes away." 

"I'll remember that," she sighed, leaning back against the wall and folding her arms over her chest while meeting Optimus' gaze. "Now look. The lot of us aren't with the Preds, we're not spies from...wherever. We don't want any part of this war. We just want to go home." 

"I believe you." 

"About time," Duncan grumbled as he fought his way free of Zelgadis' choke hold. 

"You mentioned something about a portal?" 

Lashana nodded and pushed away from the wall as she dug in her jeans pocket and produced her piece of the talisman. "Normally I can control my own portals. But this thing... I dunno. It's...or at least it _was_... a transdimensional talisman. It's _supposed_ to boost someone's magick so they can portal-hop anywhere in the known dimensions..." she paused and shrugged. "Obviously it didn't do what it was supposed to, cuz it dumped us here on it's own and sealed my portal magick in the process." 

"Breaking it didn't help," Zelgadis muttered, flinching when she glared at him. "Nevermind." 

"May I?" 

She nodded and gave her piece to Rhinox. "Zel? You still have your piece?" 

"Yeah. Here," he said, tossing it to her. "Mewtwo has the third piece. Want me to go find him?" 

"Ne, leave him be for a bit longer," she murmured. 

"Wait, wait. Yer telling us, dat dere's such a thing as magic? Oh please," Rattrap smirked, looking over at the woman as if she was nuts. "Dis is a joke, right?" 

"Damn well better believe that magick exists, else I wouldn't be standing here!" Lashana shot back as she rose her hands into her hair and exposed her Elven ears. "Elves are magickal in nature. We _are_ magick." She returned his smirk and casually summoned a fireball, juggling it carelessly while she watched his optics widen in shock. "Just because you can't explain or scan something doesn't mean it doesn't exist." 

"She gotcha there, Rattrap," Cheetor grinned. 

"Yeah yeah yeah..." 

"You said that it sealed your magick? Are you sure?" 

The Elf rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest. "Trust me, Dinobot, it's not like I haven't been trying." 

"What?" Rattrap smirked. "Ya don't like the company?" 

"Don't make me fireball you." 


	11. Portal problems, inventive conversations...

_Usual Disclaimer: We own nothing except ourselves. That is all.___

_At this point I'd like to add a thanks to the reviewers. Lady Dementia in particular. If it wasn't for her constant questions of "WRITE MORE NOW!!" and "Where's the next chapter?!" I probably would have let this fic rot away on my hard drive. As it is I'm afraid to NOT finish this. I don't think she'd ever forgive me if I didn't *grin*_   


Portal problems, inventive conversations and a caffeine deprived chimera   
  
  
  


"What? You don't like the company?" 

Lashana growled under her breath from where she was leaning back against the wall and resisted the urge to rip one of those chairs out of the floor and beat the rat unconscious with one. _Actually, that has merit.... hehe...._

"Lashana! Stop grinning like that!! It's scary." 

"Duncan, will you _please_ shut up? I'd like to live to see my next birthday!" Zelgadis hissed, glaring at the Immortal. True, that insane 'I'm gonna hurt someone' look in the Elf's eyes didn't exactly inspire confidence in her ability to control her temper, but at least she wasn't acting on it. The chimera suspected that she was only partly serious, if she had truly wanted to hurt someone, she would have done so already. "Lashana?" 

"Yo." 

"What's the plan?" 

She sighed and looked over to where Rhinox was examining the two fragments. "I don't have one.... yet." Silence fell over the bridge as she closed her eyes, retreating into her thoughts. _If we can't get that thing back together, then we're stranded here until someone back Home gets a clue and has Telca come after us. Granted that could be a while since she has no real idea where we are.... and Kenshin can only give her so many details, he can't go into the precise weavings of the portals.... _Another sigh escaped her as opened her eyes and stared at the floor. _If I could only force my storage portal open we'd at least have weapons and...ugh... a change of clothes...._

~What's stopping you?~ 

Zelgadis saw her jerk slightly as her eyes widened in shock. "What?" 

"Mewtwo..." _'Two? C'mon back, por favor._

Optimus turned from where he had been talking with Rhinox about the strange readings from the broken artifact, blinking at the flash of blue light that preceded Mewtwo's teleport back onto the bridge. "Welcome back." 

The pokemon eyed him warily for a moment before smirking and giving the Maximal Commander a curt nod. That done, he looked over at the Elf and sighed. ~Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you.~ 

"S'okay. I suppose I should be used to it by now...." 

"Suppose?" 

"Oy, shut up Zel." 

"Would you mind explaining this again?" Rhinox asked, drawing the four visitors gazes as he held up the two fragments. "I know you're probably sick of repeating yourselves, but there's a few things that don't add up... See this?" He pointed to one of the screens that showed the latest scan of the talisman. "There's two different energy readings coming from these things." 

Mewtwo frowned at the screen for a moment before looking at a still silent Lashana. ~Could it be that the talisman sealed your portal magicks within itself?~ 

"Maybe..." She shoved herself away from the wall and walked over to pluck one of the fragments out of Rhinox's hand, toying with it as she stared at the readings. "You tried to scan my aura before... did you get any readings?" 

"Who knows? He," Rattrap jerked a thumb at Mewtwo, "fried the scanner." 

"He had his reasons," the Elf murmured, staring at the screen for a moment longer before glancing over at the pokemon. "Can I see your part of the fragment?" When all she got in response was a barely audible mental whisper, she frowned and turned to look at him fully. "What?" 

He actually coughed and looked away. ~I don't have it with me.~ 

Zelgadis looked at him. "What?!" 

Lashana closed her eyes and took a deep breath, counting to ten. "Where is it?" 

~.....I'm not entirely sure.~ 

Moving quickly, Rhinox took the fragment from her and set both pieces on the table before reaching out to stop Lashana from going for Mewtwo's throat. 

By the time everything was 'under control' again, Mewtwo, Zel and Duncan were cowering in the far corner of the room, Rattrap had his blaster aimed at the Elf, Dinobot was nursing a bruised ego because she had thrown him across the room when he had tried to help restrain her, and Optimus and Rhinox were certain that their arms had gained an extra three inches of length from trying to hold her back. Cheetor just sat there calmly, not fazed at all by the bloody homicide that had been so narrowly averted, all of _his_ attention was centered on the two fragments he was looking at. 

"Rattrap, put that away," Optimus muttered as he shoved the Elf down onto a chair. 

"Nuh uh. No way boss monkey," the smaller Maximal protested, refusing to return his blaster to it's subspace compartment. "She goes nuts again and there's no telling what she'll do." 

_WHAM!_

Everyone jumped at the sound, their gazes travelling around the bridge before coming to rest on the Elf that had just slammed her forehead against the control table. 

"I hate my life." 

"I'm sure it hates you too," Zel grumbled from the far side of the room, gulping when she rose her head and glared at him. 

"Hey! I got it!" 

Lashana's eyes widened in shock when the triumphant yell was accompanied by a spark of magick that pulled at something within her, seemingly goading it out of a deep slumber. "W-what was that?" 

Cheetor looked over at her and held up the now considerably larger piece of the talisman. "The two pieces melded together. You just needed to figure out where they connected." 

Worried by the look of catatonic disbelief in her eyes, Duncan slowly crept closer to the Elf, frowning at her as he waved a hand in front of her nose. "Lashana? What is it?" 

She swatted at his hand and slowly got to her feet. "I don't know. Let me try something..." Taking a deep breath to steel herself, she closed her eyes and rose her right hand, frowning in concentration as she carefully wove the strands of a spell together. 

"What the... By the Gods!" Zelgadis gaped as bluish white energy crackled at the fingertips of her outstretched hand, watching in shock as the sparks slowly formed into a small doorway. Inch by inch, the portal widened, though it was as if she had to fight to weave every ounce of energy into the spell. But at the moment, Zel didn't really care about that. "Yes! That's it!" 

The Immortal darted around the stunned 'bots and grabbed Lashana as her knees buckled, holding her upright as sweat broke out over her forehead, her fangs bared in a grimace as she looked at the portal through narrowed eyes. "Lashana! Stop it! It's not working!" 

"It'll damn well work...." she hissed, throwing more energy into the spell. She had never had to constantly fight to hold the spell together. Every bit of power she wove into it seemed to almost immediately unravel, making it a constant effort to keep the doorway stable while simultaneously guiding it to it's source and widening it enough for someone to fit through. _This has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever done...._

"Ack!" Duncan stumbled back into Optimus as she slammed her elbow into his ribs, breaking her hold on him as she leapt up onto the table and threw herself into the portal mere seconds before it imploded on itself. "Hey!" 

"That _bitch!_ She left us here!" Zelgadis snarled, hands closing into fists. "When I get my hands on her I'll--" 

~Would you shut up? That wasn't a normal portal,~ Mewtwo growled, glaring at the chimera until he fell silent. ~If you'd looked closer, you'd have seen it was only her storage portal.~ 

"Storage? Like a subspace compartment?" 

~Mostly. Except it seems to have unlimited space,~ the pokemon answered, looking over at Rhinox. ~I just don't know if she'll be able to come back. I've never seen her have so much trouble opening a single portal befo-- ~ 

The reappearance of the portal cut him off. As did the scream that came from it seconds before Lashana was unceremoniously spat out and left to bounce off the table and crash to the floor, three swords and a backpack quickly following her before the portal sputtered once, then vanished. The shocked audience stared at the space where the doorway had been mere breaths earlier, then leaned forward to look at the Elf, wincing when they saw how badly she had landed. 

"Uuunhhh.... check please...." 

~*~ 

"Are you _sure_ you're okay?" Duncan asked worriedly as he looked over at the Elf as she walked onto the bridge again, a grumbling Rattrap following her. After she had managed to peel herself off the floor, she had grabbed the backpack and taken over one of the spare quarters on the ship to change her clothes, resulting in the subsequent punting of Rattrap when he tried to follow her in. It made the Immortal edgy that she hadn't actually _said_ anything yet. "Lashana?" 

She glanced at him as she shifted the weight of the backpack that was slung over her right shoulder. It felt good to be in clean comfortable clothes again, especially since her current outfit of black hiking boots, faded blue jeans frayed at the knees and a navy blue tank top that read 'Don't tick me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!' in light blue letters constituted as one of her favourite 'kick-ass' outfits. _Granted I'd be happier if my ribs would stop hurting...._ "I'm fine." 

"Are you sure? That was a pretty bad fall," Rhinox murmured, sighing when she rolled her eyes. 

"I'm _fine._" 

~Liar,~ Mewtwo growled. 

"Well, yes. But what are you gonna do about it, hmm?" When no one said anything, she smirked and dropped the backpack onto the floor, looking around for a moment before frowning. "Where the hell is my sword? I damn well know I brought it, the hilt whacked me in the head." 

Zelgadis blinked at that and walked over to her, ignoring her questioning gaze and the identical 'are you insane?' looks from the others as he reached out and lifted her bangs aside, frowning at the goose bump he uncovered. "Why didn't you Heal yourself? Here, hold still." Not waiting for an answer, he lightly touched the bruise and murmured an incantation, watching as the bluish light that emanated from his hand slowly mended the obviously painful bump. "Better?" 

She nodded and pulled away, reaching up to rake her nails through her hair. "Yeah. Thanks." 

"That little stunt cost you, didn't it?" Optimus asked, more of a guess than anything, but judging by the look that she sent him, he had hit it right on the mark. "How bad?" 

"Nothing that can't be fixed," she growled, crouching to pull a set of four jewel talismans out of the backpack, a necklace, two bracelets and a buckle that attached to her belt. "Besides, it's happened before. I think... it was a few months ago. 'Member, Zel?" 

"You mean when we were on a beach on an island near Hawaii and you drained yourself by magickally forcing the volcanoes to fall dormant so you could get a tan without worrying about getting killed?" He chuckled wryly. "I think most of the dimension remembers that." 

"It was worth it. Best semi-vacation I've ever had," she grinned. 

"You're kidding, right?" Cheetor frowned, looking at each of them in turn. "You call _that_ a vacation?" 

"The best we can get," Duncan chuckled, resting the blade of his katana against his right shoulder. "Granted they're mostly memorable occasions. Except for that time with the dragon." 

"Don't even _mention_ that!" Zelgadis growled warningly. "I hate that dragon with a passion!" 

Lashana snickered and winked at the Maximals as she pulled the talisman necklace over her head. "He's just peeved cuz the dragon thought he was an oversized chew toy." Smirking at the rather stunned looks that Rhinox and Optimus were sending her way, Lashana grabbed the two bracelets and easily slid them onto her wrists, taking a moment to admire the sapphire jewels before attaching the final talisman to her belt. "That ought to do it." 

Rattrap snorted derisively. "For what? A beauty pageant?" 

"No, you moron. These were tailored so they'd boost my magicks." She paused and gave him a fanged grin. "Want a demonstration? No? Then kindly shut up. Gods... Optimus, how can you live with him?!" 

"Patience. Lots of patience." 

"Hmpft. You should just let Dinobot kill him. For the greater good an all that," she grumbled as she reached into her backpack to grab a hair clip, using it to pin her hair into a loose ponytail. 

"I have to agree with the Elf, Optimus. It _would_ be in everyone's best interest if I merely ripped out his core processor and..." 

Zelgadis paled at the rest of Dinobot's sentence and rested his left hand on the hilt of the sword that was attached to his belt. True, he didn't know the full meanings of all the terms the 'bot had used, but judging by the rather evil grin Dinobot had and the looks of horror on the Maximals faces, he pretty much got the gist of it. 

Lashana, however, wasn't fazed at all. "Dinobot, isn't that anatomically impossible?" 

~_Lashana!_~ 

"What?" She looked at a frazzled Mewtwo and blinked innocently. "It's a valid question!" 

~No it's not!~ 

"Sure it is! Cuz, I mean, the way Dinobot said it, he'd have to--" 

Everyone except Dinobot and herself screamed in horror and backed away. "Don't say it! _Don't say it!!_" 

"Hehe." 

~*~ 

"I knew memorizing all those reruns would be worth it someday," Lashana grinned as she hopped off the lift and walked out from under the ship, sighing happily as she headed out into the open. Sometime between saving the clone and her consequent unconsciousness, day had given way to night, and while she had been hoping for clear blue sky, the sight of the numerous stars were still a comforting sight. 

She stole a quick glance behind her to make sure no one had followed her before smirking and sprinting towards one of the many rock outcroppings that littered the landscape. It had been easy to sneak away while everyone was screaming in horror - even Dinobot had been laughing too hard to be paying any attention to her - and since she was never one to pass up an opportunity, she had immediately used the distraction to her advantage and escaped. _I need some time to think things out without having to worry about the Guys reactions or trying to restrain the urge to fireball something...._

Figuring that she'd gone far enough, she chose one of the larger groups of boulders and easily scaled up the side of one, smiling to herself as she lay down on it and stared up at the sky, lacing her fingers behind her head. _Okay. Problem uno : Mewtwo lost his part of the talisman somewhere between here and where he first arrived in his dimension. Dos : unless that other part of the talisman holds a huge amount of power..... we're stuck here._ _Tres : Thanks to that little stunt I pulled, I'm practically useless in the magick department. My talismans will compensate for most of that, but they only hold so much power.... Frak. _She sighed and sat up, sitting lotus style and resting her elbows on her knees, a single fang protruding from her lips as she cradled her chin in the palm of her right hand. _And of course there's the ever present problem of the Predacons. Because we've gotta search everywhere Mewtwo's been to find that shard, and that means we have to go back to their base...._

"You're a fool to sit out in the open like that." 

"Eh?" She blinked and looked around, seeing no one. Luckily she wasn't tricked so easily. There were perks to Elven hearing. "Dinobot, get out from behind that rock. What the hell are you doing out here? Can't you people leave me alone for a little while?" 

"You shouldn't leave the range of Sentinel's shields. Considering that the Predacons tend to conduct surprise attacks against the Axalon, it's foolish to make yourself a target just to stare at some stupid stars," he growled as he emerged into her line of sight. 

She quirked an eyebrow at him when she saw that he had reverted to his beast-mode. He apparently didn't know that his beast-mode belied any and all of his attempts at hiding his inner feelings. Luckily, after living with a draconian for a year, it was easy for her to catch the slight twitching of his killer claws and the irritated flicking of his tail. "I happen to like looking at the stars. And if the Preds make half as much noise as you do, I won't have any trouble hearing them coming." _Okay, so that was a lie. But what does he know?_ "What do you want, anyway? I find it hard to believe that you merely came out here to chit-chat." 

When he didn't answer, she shrugged and returned her attention to the sky. It was only when her ears caught the unmistakeable sound of a sword being pulled from it's scabbard that she turned to look at him fully, blinking when she saw that he was inspecting her sword. 

"You don't take proper care of it. The blade's starting to become dull." 

"Kang stole my whetstone. I was planning on stealing it back sometime this week," she said, watching him curiously as he rose the blade, the light from the quarter moon flashing off of it. _Okay, this... is interesting..._ "So. Did the others stop screaming yet?" 

"Mostly. Though the purple one... what did you call him? Mewtwo? He said something about 'bad mental images'." 

"Oh." A snicker escaped her. "Poor bastard." At the raptor-bot's look, she smirked. "He's telepathic. Even though he doesn't listen in on people's thoughts, there are times where he accidentally picks up mental images from other people. I think he got a mindful from you when you went into that greatly detailed speech." 

A chuckle actually rumbled out of the raptor's chest. "That explains the looks of complete horror he was giving me. Here." He sheathed the sword and tossed it to her, watching her as she casually reached out to snatch the belt and scabbard out of the air before she rose to her feet and tied the belt around her waist. "Why did you come here?" 

"What? 'Here' here, or here 'this dimension'?" 

"...both, I suppose." 

"Well," she drawled, sitting back down again. "Originally only Mewtwo and I were supposed to go through that portal. We were going to come here, get the clone and get ourselves home without anyone overly noticing us. But we stumbled on Zelgadis while he was trying to take the talisman, and we tried to get it away from him, and then Duncan stumbled onto us.... and well, the entire lot of us ended up falling through that bedamned portal. The talisman must've broken apart while we were falling through, I suppose. You mostly know what happened after we... er... dropped in on you. ...As for right now, I was just hoping to get a few minutes alone so I could try to figure out how the hell we can get home." 

He was silent for a moment, digesting what she had just told him. "That.... clone. Why is it important to you?" 

"She.... it.... whatever.... is a clone of my best-friend. Granted it's warped. Telca is _not_ sickeningly sweet. I actually wanted to leave it here. But Mewtwo, being the pain-in-the-arse that he is, made me agree to come 'rescue' her." She paused for a moment, then chuckled. "All this'll be worth it just to see the look on Telca's face when we introduce her to her very own clone. I'll never hear the end of it and probably have to dodge a few fireballs and an axe, but it'll be worth it!" 

"If what you say is true and she's a complete opposite of her clone.... I believe you. If you survive the experience, be sure to send us a holovid." 

She glanced at him, surprised. _I wasn't aware he was capable of having a sense of humour. Hmm. This may not totally suck after all._ "Deal. Granted I have to get _home_ first. And that damned talisman.... I don't know if it'll be enough. And I sure as hell can't force another portal open. Not for a few more days anyway." 

"You said the talismans that you wear now would boost your magicks," he frowned, stepping back a bit when she back flipped off the rock and landed in front of him. 

"They do. But considering that I'm nearly completely out of energy and that these things only have a finite amount of power...." she trailed off and shrugged. "Granted, I have other ways to raise my energy, but in the long run, they'll cost me. TANSTAAFL, y'know." 

He frowned and moved to walk by her side as she headed back to the ship. "What?" 

"TANSTAAFL. 'There ain't no such thing as a free lunch'," she explained with a grin. "That explains magick perfectly. The spells need energy to form. Whether that energy comes from the caster or the environment around the caster, there's always a price to be paid. Personally I tend to use my own energy, which means that if things backfire, I can end up the way I am now. Drained. I don't like using the energy of the world around me, it tends to damage the wildlife and the forests." 

The raptor stared at her for a moment before growling. "You knew this would happen to you, didn't you? Yet you _still_ went ahead and forced that portal open. For what? A few measly weapons?" 

"First of all, my sword is not _measly_," she said, accenting the word with a growl of her own. "And I went ahead and pushed myself because I knew that the only thing I had to defend myself with is magick, and I damn well knew that I needed a backup. As for the others, Duncan is a master-swordsman. Granted socially he can act like a total loser, he's one of the best. Zel's right behind him on that. And unlike you and the others on this planet, we're not walking battle-ready robots. It's not like we can transform and simply blow things up with lasers that shoot from our eyes," she looked at him as she said the last part, smirking knowingly. "Now can we?" 

"I should hope not!" He grinned toothily and smirked at her. "The landscape would never survive the experience." 

"Oh har har and har some more." 

~*~ 

"I still can't believe that you lost your piece of the talisman," Zelgadis grumbled as he looked over at Mewtwo, not phased in the least at the glare the pokemon sent his way. "Don't you realise that we're stuck here until we can get that thing back together?" 

~Of course I know that! What, do I look like I've been knitting this whole time?! I well aware of the current situation, thank you!~ He growled under his breath and sulked back against a wall, folding his arms over his chest as he closed his eyes and generally ignored the entire group of people around him. _I know I had the fragment when I was trying to find Lashana.... so it has to be somewhere in the vicinity of the Predacon ship...._

Duncan looked up from where he was cleaning the blade of his sword with the corner of his shirt, looking from the group of Maximals that were looking over some sort of information they had gotten from the scan of the talisman to the pokemon and the chimera. "Um... where's Lashana?" 

Rattrap froze and turned away from the screen. "Oh slag.... she's not loose in the ship is she?!" 

"Rattrap! Geez, learn some tact or something!" Cheetor groaned, smacking the smaller Transmetal Maximal upside his head before glancing at the human. "I haven't seen her since Dinobot did that.... er.... 'speech'." 

"Eh, lizard-lips is missin' too." The rat paused and smirked. "Maybe they went off an-- urk!" 

~Finish that sentence and you'll have a first class demonstration of the power of telekinesis,~ Mewtwo told him as he opened his glowing blue eyes and looked over at the rat, frowning as blue power formed an aura around the Maximal and lifted him until his back was pressed against the ceiling. ~Is that understood? Lashana is Soul-Bonded to another, to even _suggest_ that she would do something so.... so.... _vulgar_.... ~ 

"Uh oh... Uh, Mewtwo? You're crushing him," Cheetor muttered, gazing up with wide optics at the aura that was slowly constricting around Rattrap. 

"Mewtwo. That's enough," Optimus said sternly, obviously used to having to bail Rattrap out of whatever mess he had gotten himself into as he looked over at the Pokemon patiently. "Put him down." 

~Fine.~ He made a slight gesture, banishing the power that was holding the Maximal, watching emotionlessly as the 'bot fell from the ceiling. 

"ACK!" _WHAM!_ ".....ow." 

When Optimus glared at him, Mewtwo merely smirked. ~What? He's down, isn't he?~ 

"I've got it!" 

Everyone blinked and looked towards Rhinox, who turned to grin at them. "I know where the last fragment is." 

"_Where?!_" 

He took a step back in shock from the unified voices, then pointed at the screen. "Half a klick inside Pred territory." 

Mewtwo peered at the computer screen for a moment, then nodded. ~I know where that is,~ he murmured as he pushed away from the wall and looked at Zelgadis and Duncan. ~Let's go.~ 

"Hey. Whoa. Wait a minute. You can't go alone!" 

~Why not?~ he asked, looking at Cheetor curiously. ~Well, we should find Lashana first, she'd never forgive me if I left her out of this, but other than that, there's no real reason why we shouldn't go.~ 

"The Preds defend their perimeters with deadly force. There's no way you can get in undetected." 

"You're assuming that we care," Zelgadis smirked, resting his hand on the hilt of his sword as he met Optimus's gaze. "We can handle ourselves." 

Duncan snickered. "This coming from the person who's undergoing caffeine withdrawal." He ducked the punch and easily deflected the sword slash with his katana, eyes widening a little when he realised that the chimera had gone for a decapitating blow - the only thing that could truly 'kill' him. 

"Zelgadis Greywards!" Everyone jumped at the yell, but Lashana ignored the majority of the group in lieu of glaring at the chimera as she stalked off the lift and advanced on him. "I flamin' well saw that! Try to kill Duncan again and I swear that I will personally glue you to Telca's clone! Is that understood?!" 

He whimpered and nodded frantically. 

"Good! Now here," she dug the caffeine pills out of her jean pocket, grabbed his right hand and dropped two life-saver sized candies into the palm of it. "Take these. Maybe the boost in caffeine will help you get your head out of your ass." 

~Where've you been anyway?~ Mewtwo chuckled as Zel chewed the hardened candies and then tried to steal the rest of the pack from Lashana. 

"Outside," she shrugged, distractedly smacking Zel away from her, then wincing as she tried to shake feeling back into her hand. "Needed a few minutes of alone time. Granted I didn't get much of that," she added with a smirk as she glanced over at Dinobot. "But nevermind. What's going on? Or are you not going to tell me? Cuz then I'd have to start making indelicate guesses and...." 

"I think we've had enough of that sort of conversation for one day," Optimus grimaced with a pointed look at Dinobot. "Rhinox did a scan of the area. We found the last fragment, but it's in Pred territory." 

"Slag," she growled, whacking Zelgadis aside again when he tried to reach into the right pocket of her jeans. "I suppose it was too much to hope that it was somewhere where we wouldn't get shot at.... excuse me a moment. Zel!" 

"Yipe!" The chimera backed away from her and tripped over his cloak, ungracefully crashing to the floor. Unfortunately Lashana was still stalking towards him, so the only thing he could do was crawl backwards until his back was pressed against the wall, effectively trapping him. 

"There should be laws against this," Duncan muttered to the 'bots as Lashana grabbed the chimera by the front of his shirt and lifted him off the floor so he was at eye-level with her. The look in her eyes was downright frightening, and while he couldn't quite make out what she was whispering to Zel, judging by the terrified expression on Zel's face, he didn't want to know. "The psychological trauma can't be healthy." 

"Do tell," Optimus murmured as Zelgadis screamed and bolted for the lift, leaving a good portion of his shirt behind in Lashana's hands. "What did you say to him? Wait, we don't want to know, do we?" 

"Probably not," Rattrap grimaced, not liking the rather evil gleam in the Elf's eyes as she turned to bare her fangs at them in an insane grin. 

"Let's just say that I merely warned him of the consequences of trying to deprive me of caffeine," she said innocently, seeing Dinobot hide a snicker out of the corner of her eye. "Besides, I don't think I want to totally corrupt Cheetor's mind. That'd turn him into Rattrap, and no one wants that." 

"Hey! I resent that!" 

"She does, however, make a valid point." 

"Oh shut up, Chopperface." 

Ignoring the two who were now trading insults, Mewtwo shuddered and backed away from the Elf, eyeing her warily. ~You projected.~ 

"Oh? Did I? Hehe. Sorry." 

~No you're not.~ 

"Well, no. Not really." 

Optimus exchanged glances with Rhinox and Cheetor before returning his gaze to the Elf. "You're evil." 

She grinned. "Thanks! Now, shouldn't we either be trying to find Zel or going to get that fragment? Um... do they know they sound like an old married couple?" 

Dinobot and Rattrap both froze in mid-yell, eyes widening in horror and disgust at what she had just implied. Very aware of the laughs from the others, the two slowly turned and looked at the Elf that was standing before them. 

A smiled tugged at the corners of her mouth as she folded her arms over her chest and quirked an eyebrow at them, very aware of the indignant anger in their glares. "Well. You do," she shrugged, seeing Dinobot's killer claws twitch, matching the twitch that was starting to affect his right eye and incidentally, Rattrap's left optic. "Oooh, look! They even twitch in sync. Hehe."   
  
  
  
  



	12. Awakenings and near-homicidal incidents

_Wheeee! Chapter 12!! Okay, there are a few things y'all need to know with this chapter. _

_1st : There's angst. Just because I was in a angsty writing mood and it got put into this fic. _

_2nd : These ###### mean that a flashback is commencing/ending._

_3rd : Did you know that spellcheck tries to change 'Dinobot' into 'Dingbat'? Sorry. Thought I'd share that. *hehe*_

_4th : Came to my attention that technically if I'm writing in the timeline just before Dinobot's death, that I'm missing Silverbolt. Assume he's on some long-winded mission throughout the fic, okay? *sheepish grin*_

_Comprende? Bueno. Go read. And **review!!**_   
  


Awakenings and near-homicidal incidents   
  


Deep in the bowels of the Maximal ship, a form stirred, braided ponytails half-undone as the female slowly lifted her head from the metal floor. It had been pure precaution and good thinking by Zelgadis to put the Clone in one of the brigs. Locking her up meant that none of them would have to worry about her waking up and wandering around the ship. However, they hadn't taken into consideration the fact that as the original Telca's clone, this copy might just have some of Telca's... less 'endearing' qualities. 

"....hello? Hello?" Telcatwo sat up and tugged her pink and white dress back into place, taking a moment to fix the neon pink clips in her hair before looking around at the rather uninviting room she was locked in, then at the open door that was blocked by numerous laser beams. "_HELLO!! CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME?!!?!_" 

~*~ 

Lashana blinked and looked around. "Did anyone else hear that?" 

Dinobot and Rattrap momentarily forgot about their sudden urge to kill her and frowned for a moment, both of them straining to hear what had caught the Elf's attention. 

"I cannot detect anything," the raptor announced, looking at Lashana curiously. "Are you certain that you're not going senile?" 

"Hardy fuckin' har har," she snarled, sending him a scathing glare. "I am so incredibly not hearing things!" 

"Eh, as much as I hate to admit it, the pointy-eared's right," Rattrap sighed, ignoring the glare she sent at him in response to the nickname. "The clone's making noise." 

"Oh Gods... it's awake?!" Duncan yelped, tightening his hold on his katana. "I thought it was supposed to be out of it for ten hours!" 

"It _was!_" she groaned. "But if she's a clone of Telca then it stands to reason that she has the same ability to shake off spells that Telca has." 

~Lovely. So what do we do now?~ 

Lashana smirked evilly and looked at Rattrap and Dinobot. "We elect babysitters while the rest of us go talisman hunting." 

"My place is on the battlefield. If you think that I am going to stay behind and watch over that abomination--mrft!" The last was due to the fact that Optimus had just literally clamped the raptor's snout shut. 

"I doubt she can cause any real trouble. As far as we've seen, she can't weave any magicks like you can," the Maximal Commander pointed out, looking at Lashana patiently. "We can leave her here unguarded." 

~I don't think that's a good idea. She's a Clone of Telca. You don't know how.... inventive Telca can get when she's backed into a corner. I don't think we should risk triggering those same traits in the Clone,~ Mewtwo said softly, glancing over at Lashana for support. ~We've never actually dealt with something like this before. There's no telling what was passed on from original to clone.~ 

"I have to agree with Mewtwo. Not that I have any clue about how magicks work, but if the original Telca possessed magicks like you said, then there's a chance that the Clone might have inherited the same skills," Rhinox told them, seeing Lashana nod slightly in agreement. 

"Point. And considering what Telca's capable of, I really do _not_ want to find out if the Clone's capable of weaving any sort of spell...." she trailed off and folded her arms over her chest, staring down at one of the jewelled talisman bracelets she was wearing. "I could try to put a sleep spell on her, but I don't know what it'll do." 

"What do you mean? I thought you said you were a sorceress," Cheetor frowned. 

"I am. But I specialize in Shamanistic and Black Magicks. Being adept in the Black arts means that I'm incapable of weaving any White Magick spells. Which means we need Zel and since he's not here..." She paused a moment, then looked at Mewtwo. "Can't you just Psyburn her into unconsciousness?" 

~Not unless you want her brain to turn into mush.~ 

"Sure." 

"_Lashana!_" 

She rolled her eyes at Optimus' outraged cry. "Oh, fine. Then _you_ figure out what the hell to do with her!" That said, she snatched her backpack off the floor, grabbed Mewtwo's arm and dragged him towards the lift, pausing to grab Duncan's shirt collar along the way. "We're going talisman hunting." 

"Slag." Optimus muttered, releasing a struggling Dinobot with a resigned sigh. "Take Cheetor and Rattrap and go with them. At the very least keep her from destroying another large part of the planet!" 

~*~ 

"Um, do we have any idea where Zel went?" Duncan asked as the trio trekked towards the distant Pred ship. 

~None. Does it matter? He'll come back whenever his need for caffeine overrides his fear of Lashana.~ 

"Y'know, I'm really starting to resent how you say that." 

~Uh... sorry?~ 

"No you're not." 

~True. But what are you going to do about i-- ACK! Get that thought out of your head!!~ 

"Hehe." 

Duncan rolled his eyes at their antics, sending Mewtwo a sympathetic look afterwards. "Lashana. That was cruel." 

"Yet oddly entertaining." 

Lashana paused in mid-step and glanced back over her shoulder, eyeing the three beast-moded followers curiously before letting her gaze fall on Dinobot. "What do you think you're doing?" 

"We're supposed ta watch over you," Rattrap grumbled sourly. "Optimus doesn't want you to blow up another piece of the landscape." 

"Hmpft." _Never in my life have I seen something so ridiculous as a transmetal rat with wheels._

"Besides, you can't go up against the Preds on your own," Cheetor pointed out as he padded over to him. sleek transmetal hide catching the waning light of the moon. "You'll need backup." 

She sighed heavily and reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose, feeling the beginnings of a headache starting to throb at the edges of her mind. "You're not going to let this go, are you?" 

"No." 

~Lashana?~ Mewtwo walked in front of her and rested a hand on her left shoulder, looking down at her worriedly as he switched to what she called a 'private bandwidth', keeping the others from eves dropping. ~Are you alright?~ 

"M'fine. Let's just get this over with. I want to go home," she murmured, pulling away and turning to continue walking towards the lava wasteland. "I need a shower and a good cup of coffee." 

"You and me both," Duncan sighed, moving to walk by her side and falling silent for a moment before speaking up again. "What's the plan?" 

"When I think of one, you'll be the first to know." 

"By the Pit! I'm following a child into battle...." Dinobot snarled, teeth fully bared as he darted forward and stood directly in front of the Elf, forcing her to pay attention to him. "This is absurd! We do not even know _where_ that idiotic talisman is! Do you expect us to simply wander around enemy territory until we stumble upon it?!" 

Lashana gritted her teeth, hands fisting at her sides. "Dinobot, get out of my way." 

Duncan, being the closest to her, saw the signs first, and quickly backed away from the Elf, signalling to Mewtwo and the others to keep their distance as Lashana's eyes narrowed. 

"You're not only a hybrid child with no experience, you're a complete fool! This madness must end! Return to the Axalon. Those of us who actually know what we are doing will devise a proper battle strategy and--" 

"Oh sheee-yit," Rattrap breathed as an aura of rage flickered to life around Lashana. He swallowed thickly and glanced at Cheetor. "Kiddo, I think we're about to lose Chopperface." 

~Dinobot! Back away!!~ Mewtwo yelled, not daring to approach in case Lashana snapped. ~Don't just stand there you idiot! _Run!_~ 

The raptor's eyes widened at the sight before him, and he found himself unconsciously obeying the yelled orders, warily backing away from the Elf in front of him as the talismans she was wearing began glowing brightly. Her head was lowered, the clip that had been holding her hair up now lying forgotten on the ground next to her right foot, letting her hair fly wildly in the wind that her aura was stirring up. All in all he was glad her bangs were currently hiding her eyes, he didn't think he wanted to see the expression in them at the moment. 

Lashana growled loudly, trembling with anger. If it was one thing that she hated being called, it was being called a 'hybrid' or a 'half-blood'. It was the only true thing she was ashamed of. And when it was spat out at her as if she was useless because of it, someone usually ended up paying for it. With interest. 

~Oh I'm going to get myself killed.... You three, stay here!~ Not waiting for any protests - not that he expected any - Mewtwo ran forward and planted himself between Dinobot and Lashana, unnerved by what he was sensing from her. ~....'Shana? Lashana, calm down. You have to save your energy remember? So we can get the talisman and go home? Lashana, please!~ 

"Get out of the way, 'Two. This is personal." 

He shivered at the cold whisper, but didn't back down. Instead, he lightly probed the edges of her mind, easily evading getting caught up in her rage as he delved into her subconscious, eyes widening when he realised what had angered her. Startled, he whirled on Dinobot, meeting the raptor's gaze. ~Apologise to her! Now!~ 

"_What?!_ You can't be serious!" 

~I'm as deadly serious as she is!~ the pokemon yelled as he rose a barrier to restrain Lashana. Figuring that this was one of those desperate times that called for desperate measures, he reached out and lay one hand on Lashana's forehead, and the other on Dinobots. ~You're about to get a crash course in emotional torment.~ 

"What are you--?!" 

############# 

_Loneliness._

A young Elven boy looked up from playing tag with his friends, blinking at the young white-haired girl that was sitting under a willow tree, idly playing with a picked flower. "Hey! Lookit her! Her ears aren't right! And what's wrong with her hair?" 

An older boy turned and followed the younger's gaze, sneering in disgust. "She's a _half-blood_, Kel. Ain't you never seen one?" 

"What's a 'half-blood'?" 

"They're absolutely worthless. They're not like us. She's got _human_ blood in her. Hey!! Get away from there you freak!" The older hefted a rock and threw it, startling the girl as the projectile hit her shoulder. "You'll pollute the tree's aura!" 

_Sadness._

"Mommy? What's that?" 

The Human woman turned, staring at the teenager that was looking through the bookshelves. "It's just a filthy half-blood, dear. Just ignore it. It'll go away." 

_PAIN_

"W-what do you mean I can't enrol here? It's a college isn't it? Aren't you here to teach?" 

"Oh, we are a college, miss Inferno. But I suspect that the college in Gladsfront would be more... beneficial to you." 

"You're kidding right? That's not a college, it's a ward for the..." A pause. "...for the rehabilitation of...." 

"The mentally challenged. Yes. Your kind, while not welcome here, would find that institution rather useful I would think." The Dean smiled cruelly. "Now if you'd kindly vacate the premises, I have actual people that I have to speak to today." 

############ 

Dinobot jerked, breaking contact with Mewtwo and the visions that were forcing their way into his mind. "What the slag did you do to me?!" 

~I did nothing. You seemed to need a first hand explanation of why you're acting like a complete bastard, so I let you see some of Lashana's memories,~ Mewtwo said, telepathically keeping Lashana from realising what he had just done. 

"....memories?" 

~You stumbled right into an emotional hornets nest,~ the pokemon told him, turning to look at the Elf once again, ignoring the danger as he reached out and rested his fingers on her temples, gently easing himself into her mind. ~Lashana...~ 

"What.... what just happened?" Rattrap muttered as the Elf's aura suddenly vanished, enabling Mewtwo to pull the girl into his arms. 

"You're asking the wrong 'bot," Cheetor answered, more confused than ever. 

Duncan heaved a sigh of relief. "Whatever it was....I think it's over." Even so, he moved cautiously as he approached the other trio, watching Lashana for any signs of danger as he got well within reach of her. "Is she okay?" 

~I don't-- ~ 

"I'm fine," Lashana whispered as she pulled out of Mewtwo's arms, backing away from him and forcing a smile. "Just lost my temper is all. You know me!" 

~Lashana....~ 

"I'm _fine_. Stop worrying so much 'Two, your fur will turn grey!" she teased, tucking her hair behind her ears as she grinned. "What are you all standing around here for? I thought y'all wanted to find that talisman!" 

Duncan blinked, staring after the Elf that was now striding purposefully towards Pred territory. "Uh..." 

"What the slag was _that?!_" Rattrap asked the question that was now on everyone's minds. 

~That was her ignoring what just happened.~ 

"Oh." Cheetor looked from the group to the Elf. "....she needs acting lessons." 

~*~ 

"And I thought this place looked bad from the air. It's even worse up close!" Duncan gagged, covering his nose and mouth with a hand to keep himself from inhaling the smoke and who knew what else that was coming from the numerous lava pits littering the landscape in front of them. The group was standing at the edge of a two meter high cliff that overlooked the Pred territory, and he had a sneaking suspicion that he'd soon find out if he could heal from lava burns. 

"And yet it doesn't bother me as much as the smell of Xellos' room. Go figure." Lashana stepped up onto a slanted rock and carefully slid down it onto lower ground, wrinkling her nose at the smell of sulphur. "Ugh.... 'Two? You remember where you bumped into me?"   


~Yes. It's about two hundred meters ahead.~ 

She looked at the treacherous ground again and groaned. "Greaaat. Well c'mon, let's get this over with." 

"Wait." Dinobot slid down the side of the cliff and landed next to her. "I must speak with you." 

"I think you've said enough for one day," she murmured emotionlessly as she turned to start picking her way around the breaks of flowing lava in the ground. 

"Inferno, please. This is important." 

_I never told them my last name...._ Her curiousity overwhelming the urge to kick him in the head, she looked at him and nodded slightly, waiting as he yelled at the others to go ahead before following him over to a more stable piece of land. "Where did you hear that name?" 

He growled under his breath. "Let me speak. I would never do this in front of the Maximals. I...." the word stuck in his throat, but he forced it out. "....apologise. I should not have insulted you the way I did." 

Lashana stared at him in shock. She hadn't been expecting _this!_ "A-accepted.... But that doesn't explain how you know my last name." 

"Earlier, when you were about to attack me, Mewtwo telepathically showed me some of your memories.... Memories pertaining to your hatred of.... _that_ term." 

"Oh. Okay." She tucked her hair behind her ears again, took a breath to calm herself and smiled serenely. "....would you excuse me a moment? _MEWTWO!!! _Get. Over. Here._ **NOW!!**_" 

The pokemon glanced back over his shoulder, saw her expression, and ran. 

Dinobot grabbed her arm before she could give chase, talons lightly pricking her skin. "Don't. He was only concerned with your welfare." 

"No one's supposed to know my past! Not my Soul-Bonded, not my best-friend, _no one!_" The talisman necklace glowed brightly as she jerked her arm out of his hold, ignoring the scratches his talons left behind as she did so, hissing under her breath when she saw the look in his eyes. "I don't want your _pity._ This is why I didn't want anyone to know. I don't want people looking at me like I'm some charity case. So my childhood sucked, big frakkin' deal. It doesn't matter. And dammit let go of my belt!" 

He met her gaze defiantly, a part of him belatedly wondering if hed be able to outrun one of those Dragon Slave spells of hers. "I do not pity you. Frankly, I'm rather surprised." 

_Huh?_ She thought that was worth another go. "Huh?" 

"You're stronger than I took you for," he smirked, releasing her belt and hissing under his breath when a talon got stuck in the braided leather. "Despite everything you.... Oh slag it all...." 

Rolling her eyes, Lashana batted his other claw aside and twisted to try to free him. "Despite everything I what?" she coaxed, wincing when her ribs protested at having to put up with her current attempts at twisting around far enough to be able to free him. 

"Didn't turn out like them." 

She paused and looked at him for a moment before shrugging and returning her attention to what she was doing, stepping away when she finally managed to get his talon free of the leatherwork. "I gave up trying to hate them a long time ago. It wasn't worth the effort." A loud whistle caught her attention, and she turned to look over at Duncan as he waved at them to hurry up, and she couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of Mewtwo whacking Rattrap with his tail. "C'mon. I think 'Two's about ready to drop-kick the rat into a lava pit." 

"Wouldn't want to miss _that,_" the raptor agreed rather cheerfully. 

"Oy...." Deciding that she really didn't want to get into the topic of torturing Rattrap, she sighed and looked at the ground between herself and the other group, studying it closely for a moment before grinning and running forward. 

Duncan yelped as she took a running leap over a huge lava pit, feeling the colour drain from his face in horror when she stumbled in her landing and nearly fell into a chasm. "Dear Gods she's insane." 

"Ya only noticed that _now?_" Rattrap muttered, yelping when Mewtwo whacked him with his tail again. "Hey! Do that again and I'll--" 

~You'll what?~ Mewtwo smirked. ~Bite me in the knee?~ 

"Why you little...." 

"Mewtwo stop tormenting him like that. He's not prepared for the verbal warfare we're used too. It's too easy and rather sad," Lashana said when she reached them, teetering on the edge of another chasm before regaining her balance. "Phew. This place is more dangerous than the basement of the Palace." 

~Not possible,~ Mewtwo murmured as he stepped over Rattrap and walked over to her, looking at her for a moment before smiling slightly. ~I see that he's still breathing and in one piece, so I take it that things went well?~ 

"Yeah.... As well as things can go at the moment anyway." 

~ 'Shana.... You know I didn't mean to-- ~ Whatever he had been about to say was lost in the deep sigh he let out when she leaned forward and hugged him, burying her face into the fur on his chest. 

Cheetor blinked as the pokemon wrapped his arms and tail around the Elf, then glanced at Rattrap. "This is confusing. I thought she was Soul Bonded to someone. What's she doing with him?" 

"It's called cheati--" 

_WHACK!_

"Thanks," Lashana muttered to Duncan, who nodded and looked down at the transmetal rat he had just beaned with the hilt of his katana. It was another few moments before she pulled away from Mewtwo, smiling as she stepped away. "Well? Any clue where that talisman is yet?" 

~It can't be too far from here. At least I don't think so...~ 

"That'll have to do. _RAYWING!_" The jewels on the talismans she was wearing glowed momentarily as she leapt into the air, and she grinned as she glanced down at the group. "I'm gonna go take a look around! Stay put!" 

"Since when have we ever listened to her?" Duncan smirked, exchanging amused glances with Mewtwo before he brushed soot off of his shirt and headed for the dilapidated ship. "Besides, someone's gotta be there to get her out of trouble." 

"At least this is better than manning the comms," Cheetor grinned as he trotted after him, glancing up where the Elf had just flown into a dark cloud before smirking and activating his jets. "There's no way I'm gonna miss all the fun. Hey, Mewtwo, I'm headin' after Lashana!" 

~What?! Cheetor, wait!! Oh for the love of....~ 

Dinobot grumbled as he walked up next to the pokemon and the immortal, dragging a still semi-comatose Rattrap by his tail as he did so. "This is the worst plan I have ever had the misfortune of being part of. I hope you realise that." 

"I hadn't even realised that we had a plan yet," Duncan said, highly amused. 

"You think this is _funny?!_" 

"It could be worse," the Immortal shrugged. "Telca could be with us." 

Mewtwo shuddered. 

~*~ 

"_HELLO?! CAN SOMEONE LET ME OUT?_" Telcatwo cried as she re-braided her pigtails and fussed with the clips in her hair."_I'M PRETTY SURE THAT THE BATCH OF MUFFINS I WAS MAKING ARE BURNING!!!_" 

Optimus groaned and banged his head against a wall. "By the Matrix, what have I done to deserve this?!?" 

"Maybe the Universe needed to laugh," Rhinox suggested, suddenly finding the readings of the talisman shards very interesting when the other 'bot turned to glare at him nastily. 


	13. Measuring spoons, Doilies and Dragon Sla...

  
_Insert usual disclaimer here._   
  


"This place is a mess," Telcatwo murmured to herself as she walked along the edge of the brig, moving dangerously close to the laser bars as she did so. She had given up trying to get someone's attention five minutes ago, and while she had no idea that the Maximals on the bridge were very happy for that fact, she was starting to become annoyed. "My first batch of cranberry muffins, and they're going to end up burnt to a crisp!" 

Pouting, she turned so her back was to the bars and threw herself to the floor, crossing her arms over her chest as she glared her drab surroundings. It was a few more moments before she got to her feet again, slowly approaching the back wall of the brig and peering at it curiously. There, at each corner of the wall, were what seemed to be heavy-duty bolts. 

An idea now firmly in mind, she reached into the pockets at the front of her white apron and pulled out her trusty stainless steel measuring spoons (because honestly, you should _never_ leave home without them). She smiled happily as she took one off the clip and turned it so that she was holding the spoon end of it, using it as am impromptu screwdriver as she started working at one of the bolts. 

~*~ 

"Honestly Optimus, it's not _that_ bad." 

The Maximal Commander looked at Rhinox, his right optic twitching. 

"Well okay, maybe it _is_ that bad. But it could be worse," Rhinox pointed out, trying to reassure the other Maximal as best he could. 

"Don't jinx it," Optimus groaned, seriously debating going on vacation until Lashana and Insanity Co. had left the dimension. Unfortunately, his daydreams of never having to deal with another Elf for as long as his spark stayed online were interrupted by a loud crash from the depths of the ship, the sound echoing loudly through the numerous corridors. 

"Uh... Optimus? I know you don't want to hear this but..." Rhinox trailed off and turned away from the screen he had been studying. "There's a breach down in the brigs." 

"Prime. Just.... Prime...." 

~*~ 

"Hey Lashana! Wait up!" 

Startled, she twisted in mid-air and blinked at Cheetor as he flew over to her. "What are you doing? I thought I told the lot of you to stay put!" 

"We did... for a whole of three seconds." 

"Lovely." Annoyed, she had really wanted a few moments alone, she turned and continued flying towards the Pred base, her gaze constantly darting over the ground below them as she searched for the talisman shard. "Ne, don't suppose you can scan for the talisman's signature, can you?" 

"Er..." 

She rolled her eyes. "Nevermind. I guess we'll just have to do this the hard--ACK!" She jerked to the side as a laser blast skimmed her left shoulder and banked left to avoid another shot. "I think we just lost the advantage of surprise. And... I never knew how ridiculous a flying metallic purple t-rex looked until now. Oh well, _Mewtwo!!_" 

~*~ 

~Ow!~ 

"What?" Duncan frowned as the pokemon nearly doubled over, his hands raising to clutch at his head. "You okay?" 

~I will be when Lashana stops screaming like that....~ Mewtwo winced, mentally pulling himself away from her thoughts before she yelled for him again. Apparently he had neglected to remind her that he had been keeping telepathic tabs on her since the beginning of this little mission. ~She and Cheetor are being attacked by... a bug and barney's reject cousin? Er... she must mean one of the Predacons.~ 

"What is 'barney'?" Dinobot growled, his attention divided between the aerial fight that was now very visible in the air above them and Mewtwo's report. 

"It's a big stupid purple dinosaur," Duncan explained. 

"Ah." The ghost of a chuckle left the raptor. "Then they must be fighting Megatron and Inferno... the other Inferno." 

~Right.~ Eyes glowing, Mewtwo crouched slightly, then leapt into the air, using his powers to fly up towards the Elf that was expertly dodging weapons fire while Cheetor. ~Lashana! Would you fight back already?!~ 

"I _can't!_" she yelled back, twisting to dodge another shot. "I'm low on energy remember? I can't weave another spell and fly at the same time!" 

_Damn. Forgot about that..._ Speeding up, the pokemon readied a psychic attack and loosed it on the Pred that was shooting at Lashana, distracting it long enough for him to dart down and grab her out of the air, smirking as he playfully tossed her onto his back. ~Hold on.~ 

"What are you... Ack!" Throwing her arms around his shoulders, she could do nothing but hold on for dear life as he rocketed upwards, a blue shield of energy encasing them as he merely ploughed the psychotic flying ant over and then hammerblowed it in the head, leaving it to plummet to the ground below. "Well, one down, one to go. Cheetor! Bud, you okay?" 

"Yeah! I'm just singed!" the transmetal cat called back as he banked and turned to fly back to them. "Where's Megatron." 

Lashana and Mewtwo exchanged glances. "Uh oh." 

~*~ 

"By the Matrix.... How'd she manage to knock a wall down?!" Optimus growled as he looked into the brig from his position near the edge of the wall that was now lying on the floor. 

Rhinox crouched and picked up a large bolt, then darted his gaze over the fallen wall. "She... unscrewed it." 

"You have _got_ to be joking. You're telling me, that she took apart a wall, got out, and that she's now loose in the ship?!" 

"Um.... yes." Glancing away at the look that Optimus sent him, he slowly straightened and looked into the brig for a moment longer before the sudden slight crackle of the shipwide communicator caught his attention. "What..." 

_"Wishin', and hopin', and thinkin', and prayin', Planning and dreamin' each night of his charms, That won't get you into his arms, So if you're looking for love you can share!"_

Optimus grimaced. "What the slag is that?!" 

_"All you gotta to is hold him, And kiss him, and love him, And show him that you care. Show him that you care, just for him. Do the things that he likes to do. Wear your hair just for him..."_

"Um.... I think it's an old earth song..." Rhinox winced. 

"Slaggit, she's in the control room. C'mon! We can't let her leave the ship!" 

~*~ 

Telcatwo grinned as she sang along to the lyrics of her favourite song. It always made her feel better to sing while she cleaned and decorated. And lords knew that this place needed a good helping of both! It was just so drab in here! All serious and warlike, these people needed to lighten up a little! And she was just the gal to help them do it! 

The sound of heavy footsteps made her turn to look down on of the corridors, smiling as the two 'bots ran onto the bridge. "Why hello! How are you? I hope you don't mind, I just _had_ to tidy this place up a little and give it a little colour. It was just _so_ dreary in here!" 

When they skidded to a stop and stared at the control room, she turned and admired her work along with them, loving how the pink curtains, pink cushions, pink doilies, pink wallpaper and the pink tablecloth for that big table really gave the room some life. Smiling, she looked back at them. "Isn't it great?" Getting no answer, she placed her fists on her hands and scrunched up her face as she glared at them, not even paying attention to the blank comatose look in their twitching eyes. "Don't you like it? Hmpft. This just proves that you males have no taste whatsoever." 

Still getting no answer, she rose a finger to her lips and nibbled on her fingernail for a moment before shrugging, throwing a few doilies onto them, then heading for the lift. "You're no fun at all. Besides, I really should go try to save that batch of muffins." 

Completely mind-numbed by all the pink, all Rhinox and Optimus could do was twitch in reply, neither of them conscious enough to realise that she had just waltzed right out of the ship. 

~*~ 

Back in the air above the wasteland, Lashana was frantically trying to see where Megatron had vanished to. "I mean really, how hard can it be to find a huge purple lizard?!" 

~This coming from the person who ran right into Malcho without even noticing that he was there.~ 

"Hey! That doesn't count, I had just woken up and I hadn't had my coffee yet!" 

"Um.... guys? I think the others are having a bit of trouble," Cheetor said, interrupting their bickering as he pointed down to the land party, frantically scrambling for cover as the rest of the Pred gang opened fire on them. 

Mewtwo sighed and gathered power to himself. ~Ready?~ 

Grinning, Lashana clutched tighter at his shoulders. "Go!" Her stomach lurched as he dove from the sky, using a shield to protect them from the air pressure as he picked up speed. When she was certain that he was about to crash head first into a lava pit, he twisted and landed heavily on his feet, skidding to a halt before launching ten black energy balls at the Preds. "Ug... I think I left my stomach back there somewhere...." 

~You said you were ready,~ he reminded her with a smirk as he easily deflected a laser blast and leapt out of the way of a missile. ~You going to get off my back so I can fight?~ 

"No. I'm going to get off your back so _I_ can fight." Thus said, she hopped off and drew her sword, baring her fangs in an insane grin as she looked over at the Preds. "Hello." 

~*~ 

"By the Pit, she's insane!" 

"Yeah. You kinda get used to that after a while," Duncan shrugged, looking down at a still slightly out of it Rattrap for a moment before nudging him in the side with the toe of his shoe. "Hey. Wake up already, this isn't the time for a beauty nap!" 

"Matrix knows he needs it," Dinobot muttered under his breath as he transformed, ducking to avoid a laser blast that just barely singed his cheek. He waited until there was a brief lull in the barrage, then rose above the rock outcropping they had taken shelter behind, fully intending to return fire.... 

"What?" Frowning at the look of shock on the raptor-bot's face, Duncan stood up next to him and stared out at Lashana and Mewtwo as they used powers and sword respectively to deflect any and all shots being fired while Cheetor fired at the slightly mind-boggled Preds from above. "Well, what did you expect? Those two love to fight. C'mon!" 

"Duncan! Where've you _been?!_" 

"Hiding behind that rock," he grinned, catching Lashana's glance of exasperation as he ran over to her and took a stance next to her. "A little help? This is my favourite katana." 

"Right, right. _ASTRAL VINE!_" Red light played over the blade of his weapon, glowing brightly for a moment before seemingly being absorbed into the katana itself. Thus was the way the spell worked. It rendered anything, weapon or not, indestructible. Being used on a sword made the weapon capable of cutting through anything and even deflecting minor spells. "Have fun! I need a few moments to do the incantation!" 

"Incantation?!" Dinobot skidded to a stop behind her and growled. "You cannot weave that Dragon Slave spell here! You could render the ground completely unstable! Haven't you noticed that this is all one huge lava pit?" 

Lashana snarled softly and narrowed her eyes. "Read the t-shirt, bub. You're getting very close to pissing me off. Now _move_." Not waiting for an answer, she shoved him out of the way. "If you want to do something constructive, get Cheetor to land so he doesn't get caught in the line of fire, will you?" 

Completely ignoring the glare of sheer rage he was giving her, she walked over to the rock outcropping Duncan and the others had been hiding behind and leapt up to stand on the top of it, grinning at her slightly better vantage point. "Well now, let's see if we can't barbeque us some Preda---" She froze as something brushed her pant leg and slowly looked down... 

....right into Tarantulas' face. 

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! SPIDER!! KILL IT!!! _KILL IT!!!_" 

~Wha-- Ooof! Lashana, what?~ Mewtwo looked up from the Elf that was now seemingly attached to him, and blinked at the large metallic spider that was perched on the rock outcropping she had been heading for, his eyes widening when a second spider - this one obviously resembling a more natural spider - crept up to join the first. ~Uh...~ 

"....kill it.... you have to kill it...." 

"She faces off against the entire Predacon force without fear and yet she's afraid of _spiders?_" Dinobot rolled his optics and pulled his sword him it's subspace compartment. 

"Um... there's nothing wrong with that," Duncan muttered, though there wasn't much conviction in his voice. 

"Nothing except for the fact that thanks to her fear, we're surrounded," the raptor snarled. 

~Dammit.~ Mewtwo wrapped his arms around Lashana and hugged her gently as he eased himself into her mind, gently calming her. ~Lashana. Lashana, you have to fight them. I can't hold all the Preds off by myself.~ That was a lie and he knew it. But he needed to goad Lashana's protectiveness of himself and Duncan into play so that she'd forget about the spiders and her fear of them and do what needed to be done. ~Lashana....~ 

Still trembling, she slowly released him and pulled away, the talismans she wore starting to glow as she rose her hands. "'Two, get them all together." 

~With pleasure,~ he smiled, looking over at the two Predacon spiders and smirking as he sent a horde of black energy balls at them, easily forcing them to rejoin the other Preds by simply herding them in that direction. 

"Uh oh," Duncan breathed, recognising the red aura of Power that was starting to appear around the Elf. 

"_Darkness beyond twilight. Crimson beyond blood that flows, buried in the flow of time...._" 

"What's she...?" Cheeter frowned as he landed next to Dinobot, then gulped and started backing away. "Oh no..." 

Mewtwo smirked at the fear in the bot's voice and calmed sidestepped to avoid another missile from the Preds. ~You know,~ he telepathed to them, doing what Lashana called his 'wideband' telepathy. ~You really should be running away now.~ 

"_In thy great name I pledge myself to darkness...._" 

"Ha! You think we're afraid of that little light show," Tarantulas called back as he transformed, chuckling softly. "What fools do you take us for?" 

"Very stupid ones!" Duncan yelled back, yelping as he danced out of the way of a laser blast. 

"_Let all the fools who stand before me be destroyed by the power you and I possess!_" 

Cheetor dropped to the ground and covered his head, dimly aware that Duncan had done the same. "Fire in the hole!" 

"_DRAGON SLAVE!!_" 

Everything happened at once. Since everyone had been paying attention to Lashana, no one had noticed the pink and white form slowly picking her way through the wastelands, her outfit a stark contrast to the ground around her. Upon seeing the Elf start to loose the obviously destructive spell right at her little group, Telcatwo could do nothing else except cry out a warning and run forward to stand between them and the blast, instinctively raising her hands to defend herself as the attack loomed into her line of sight.....   
  
  
  
  
  



	14. The bunnies cometh

_Lashana and Telca own only themselves._   
__   
__ __

**The bunnies cometh**   
  
  


Pink. 

Mewtwo groaned softly and blinked. The spell that Lashana had loosed had knocked everyone to the ground, and the uncharacteristic bright flash of light that had followed had nearly blinded them all. Even now, spots still danced in his vision, though he didn't understand why his vision was pink. _Maybe the flash of light crippled my vision..._

And then it moved. 

He was fairly certain that seeing the pink light move wasn't supposed to tickle him. Also certain that it wasn't supposed to make him sneeze. Curiosity pulling him out of his shock, he shifted and pushed himself up onto his knees, taking a few minutes to blink in pure shock before his mind fully processed what lay before him. 

Bunnies. Dozens, no, _hundreds_, of pink furred bunnies, each with little lavender bows tied at the base of each ear. 

"What the hell?!" 

The cry made him turn to look at Duncan as the immortal grabbed a bunny by it's ears and lifted it, peering at it curiously for a moment before setting it down again and raising his left hand to his right arm, giving himself a hard pinch. ~You're not dreaming,~ he told him. ~It's a swarm of pink bunnies.~ 

"Wha... what happened?" Duncan glanced at Mewtwo, then let his gaze travel over to Lashana, who still had her arms raised in the air, seemingly frozen in that position out of pure catatonic incomprehension. He figured that she was probably blinking her eyes off. "I think she's a little stunned." 

Cheetor shook a few rabbits off of his back and lithely rose to his feet, looking around them before glancing at the Preds, chuckling when he saw that they were ankle deep in pink bunnies. A low snarl drew his attention to Dinobot as the warrior kicked rabbits away from him, and he rolled his eyes in exasperation as he watched the raptor-bot try to shake off the bunny that was clinging to his right leg. 

Still a little surprised, the Pokemon rose to his feet and picked his way through the sea of bunnies until he was standing next to the Elf, gently reaching out to touch her shoulder as she slowly lowered her arms. ~Lashana?~ 

There was a pause. Then. "What the frak did you do to my spell?!" 

It took Mewtwo a second or two to realise that she wasn't talking to him, and he frowned as he followed her gaze over to the Predacons, and the form that was standing in front of them. _Oh Lords... she escaped from the Axalon..._

"Aren't they just sooo cute?" Telcatwo smiled cheerfully and scooped a bunny into her arms, playfully cuddling it to her chest. "Oh, yes you are! You're just sooo cute!" 

Lashana grit her fangs and reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose, taking deep breaths to help her keep her temper in check. _How the hell can someone turn one of the most powerful Black magick spells into pink bunnies?! How?!_ An irritated growl made her look up in time to see Dinobot drop kick a rabbit into the air, and she couldn't help but smirk when the bunny landed with a smack on Megatron's face and stayed there in a seemingly permanent glomp. _Seeing that is almost worth it._

"You know.... they don't seem all that glad that she's back," Cheetor observed, pointing to the group in front of them with a paw as the Preds backed away from Telcatwo, who was showing off one of the bunnies. 

Duncan chuckled. "Can you blame them?" 

"Holy... What happened?!" 

Mewtwo turned at the yelp and frowned at Zelgadis. ~Where have you been?~ 

The chimera shrugged. "Running for my life until Lashana calmed down." Ignoring the glare he got from the Elf for that little remark, he waded through the bunnies until he was standing by her side. "I saw that flash of light from three miles away. What happened?" 

"I don't bloody know," she muttered. "I had just loosed the Dragon Slave when Telcatwo ran into the line of fire and _bang!_ Next thing I know I'm ankle deep in pink bunnies." 

"AAAHHHH!! Get dem offa me!!" 

"Well, Rattrap's awake," Cheetor snickered, ducking as a thrown rabbit sailed past him. 

"Enough of this!" Dinobot snarled as he punted another rabbit off of him. "We should take advantage of the Predacon's distraction and... Lashana! Where are you going!?" 

She didn't even bother to look back at him as she waded through the bunnies. "To have a chat with the Preds!" 

~You're _what?!_~ 

Ignoring the calls from her group to stop, Lashana shoved rabbits out of her way until she was standing only a few meters away from the Preds, who were alternating between trying to pry rabbits off of themselves and trying to keep Telcatwo from going near them. "Ahem." 

"This is all your fault!" Tarantulas growled, aiming his blaster at the Elf and blinking when she rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest. 

"Please. If it wasn't for your clone, I'd have blown y'all to scrap. Granted, I don't know _what_ she did to my spell, but whatever it was...." she paused and distractedly nudged a rabbit away from her with her left foot, "it did _this._" There was a squeal from her left and smell of burning fur, and she grimaced as she looked over in time to see Rampage drop a charcoaled rabbit to the ground. _Ew._

"Hey! Don't kill 'em critters! Dem's good eatin'!" 

A shiver made it's way down her spine at Quickstrike's protest, and she firmly pushed any thoughts of that out of her mind before returning her attention to the spider-bot in front of her, quirking an eyebrow when Megatron finally managed to pry the bunny off of his face, tossing it aside as he strode forward. "Looks like you're a hit with the fuzzies," she chuckled, glancing at the rabbits that clung to his legs. A footstep behind her drew a venomous glare from Megatron, and she sighed as she glanced back at Mewtwo and Dinobot. "Chill." 

~Are you insane? No wait, don't answer that...~ Mewtwo shook his head slightly, then looked at her. ~You might need backup.~ 

"You're foolish to come into Predacon territory, Traitor! Yeesss... urk!" 

"Now, now. Play nice," Lashana drawled, smirking as he struggled to pry the rabbit that she had just launched at his face off of himself. Chuckling at the scene, she shot a glance back at Dinobot and smirked. "That goes for you too. Now." She turned back to the Preds. "What the hell were you people _thinking_, making a clone of Telca? And why in the hells did you make her so... so... _cheerful?!_" 

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," Tarantulus grimaced. "We wanted to make a psychotic killer to set loose on the Maximals. But something was wrong with the DNA samples... unfortunately, we only found out when it was too late." 

"Pity," Dinobot grumbled, ignoring the glare that Lashana shot at him. "Where did you acquire the samples then? You do not have the technology to travel from dimension to dimension." 

"That's the strange thing. Some bizarre little mammal just teleported into the base and gave it to us," Blackarachnia said as she joined them. "Told us they were DNA samples from the most insane female warrior that ever lived." 

~That's Telca alright,~ Mewtwo smirked. 

Lashana sighed. "This 'mammal'. Lemme guess : purple hair, annoying smile, prone to saying 'sore wa himitsu desu' a lot?" 

"That's him," the femme nodded. "You know him?" 

"Unfortunately." The Elf rose a hand to massage her aching temple and sighed again. "His name's Xellos. He's an immortal, masochistic, sadistic little trickster that feeds off of people's pain and suffering. He's kinda like Rampage, only perverted." 

There was the sound of an insulted growl. "I resent that!" 

~But why would he take an interest in them?~ Mewtwo frowned, receiving a shrug as an answer from Lashana. ~I mean, there's nothing he can actually get out of this, right?~ 

"If what you say is true, then they've certainly given him grand entertainment," Dinobot said, meeting the Elf's wary gaze when she looked over at him. "He could still be here." 

~No. He's masochistic, not suicidal. He knows better than to push 'Shana too far.~ The Pokemon sent a wary glance at the woman as he spoke, tensing a little at the aura of magick that flickered around her. ~I hope.~ 

Megatron growled as he wrenched the rabbit off his his face, scowling as he threw it at Waspinator, the impact knocking the 'bot to the ground where he was immediately swarmed by bunnies. Not liking this current situation, he stifled the urge to pound someone into the ground and looked down at the female in front of him, frowning when the clone ran over to them. "Oh nooo..." 

"Aren't they just so cute?" Telcatwo smiled as he handed rabbits to all of them, blinking when Dinobot snarled and threw his aside. "That wasn't very nice! You're mean!" 

Lashana bared her fangs in a grin when she saw Megatron's expression. "How about a truce, hmm? You help my friends and I get home, and we'll take her off your hands." 

"You must be joking." 

"Do I look like I'm joking? I'm tried, low on energy, I have this overwhelming urge to beat something to death and I'm up to my ankles in bunnies! Does it _really_ look like I'm joking?!" 

The Predacon gulped at the look in her eyes and shook his head, dimly aware that his 'troops' had put a substantial amount of space between themselves and the female. "What do you need?" 

Lashana grinned. 

~*~ 

"I can't believe she's got the Preds working for her!" Cheetor muttered in awe. They had all reconvened into the Pred base almost ten minutes ago, with a stunning lack of protests from Dinobot and Rattrap. What he didn't know was that Lashana had threatened the two with a lot of bodily harm if they so much as _looked_ at someone the wrong way. As it was, the Elf was standing next to Blackarachnia, talking to her about how to intimidate males while Tarantulas worked at the main computer, scanning the area for any odd energy signatures. 

"This would be easier if I knew what I was looking for!" The spider grumbled for the fifth time in as many minutes, eliciting a sigh from the Elf. 

"Fine, fine." Lashana turned and looked over at the Pokemon that was leaning against a wall, watching all this calmly. "Mewtwo? Hun, can ya teleport back to the Axalon and swipe the pieces of the talisman for me?" 

"Did she just call him 'hun'?" Rattrap muttered to Duncan, who smirked. 

"She calls all her Favourites 'hun'. It's just something she does," the immortal chuckled as the Pokemon vanished in a flash of blue light. "At least she's in a better mood." 

"Who wants cookies?" 

There was a unanimous groan from everyone present, and Telcatwo blinked as she stopped short and looked at them. "What?" 

Mewtwo chose that moment to return, a yelp of horror leaving him when he reappeared next to the clone. Eyes widening, he hopped backwards until he was standing next to an exasperated Lashana, keeping her between him and Telcatwo as he pushed the talisman into her hands. ~Here.~ 

"Thanks, ya big wuss," the Elf snickered, grinning at his annoyed glare as she tossed the talisman to Tarantulas. "Look for the same energy that's coming off of that. We need the last piece that's somewhere out there. I can only pray that it hasn't been eaten by a bunny." 

"Doesn't anyone want a cookie?" 

"_NO!_" 

Recoiling from the loud yells, Telcatwo trembled a little before sniffling, tears gathering in her eyes. 

Duncan paled. "Oh Gods no...." 

Lashana gulped and looked around for Zelgadis, eyes widening when she couldn't find him. "Where's Zel?! He knows sleep spells! Someone find him before--" Her warning was cut off by a loud wail, and she yelped as she clamped her hands over her ears, the crying hitting a pitch that made her teeth hurt. _Oh crud, oh frak, oh slag! How the hell can I shut her up without killing her?! How.... _"I'd prefer a muffin!!!" 

The crying stopped, replaced by a soft hiccup. "What?" 

"A fresh muffin. Lemon cranberry," Duncan added, catching on. "That'd be really good right about now!" 

Telcatwo wiped at her eyes. "Really?" 

"Sure! Right guys?" Lashana threw a Look of Death at the 'bots around her, seeing them all nod frantically moments later. 

"Oh! I'll go bake those then!" Good mood restored, Telcatwo shoved the plate of cookies into Megatron's hands and turned to skip down a corridor, humming happily. 

Everyone loosed a collective sigh of relief at having the crisis averted and their hearing spared. A few Predacons actually thanked Lashana, much to the three Maximal's surprise. 

~Quick thinking,~ Mewtwo murmured to her as he used a bit of his psychic power to wipe out the beginnings of her migraine. 

"Had to do something short of killing her. Oh, my poor ears...." She grimaced a little, then glanced over at the computer that Tarantulas was working at, staring at the unfamiliar scrawls of language there before giving up on trying to understand anything. 

"This is insane!" 

"Shove it, Chopperface! It ain't like we got a whole lot of choice here!" Rattrap paused and grinned. "Unless ya wanna keep tha clone fer yerself?" 

"There's an idea... hehehehe...." Tarantulas trailed off at the look Dinobot was giving him and gulped as he turned back to the computer. "....Um.... alright. I've scanned this artifact, but I can't get a complete enough signature from it to do a proper scan of the area." 

"Well slag," Lashana grumbled, planting her fists on her hips as she glared at the computer. "What about... Ne, Mewtwo? You think my portals and that talisman have the same energy sig?" 

~I don't know. But at the very least, it could give them a clue on what to look for.~ 

"Hey, whoa. You're not going to try to open another portal are you?" Duncan frowned, rushing over to her and grabbing her right arm before she could start the spell. "That thing sealed your magicks, if you try again...." 

"Duncan, kindly let go of my arm before I do some serious damage to you." 

"I'm immortal, there's nothing you can do that I won't recover from." 

Taking that as the challenge that it was, Lashana gave him her best demented grin and chuckled. "Oh, but there are ways to torture people without hurting them, Duncan-san." 

"I think I like her," Rampage cackled to a shuddering Quickstrike, who had managed to see the look in the Elf's eyes as she had spoken. 

Turning away from the now whimpering Duncan that was hiding behind Dinobot, Lashana looked at Tarantulas and gestured to the computer. "Y'ad better get whatever readings you need, cuz this isn't a repeat performance, capice?" When he nodded - rather catatonically, she noted - she closed her eyes and rose her right hand, power cracking at her fingertips as she struggled to open one of her portals. It was harder than before, unravelling faster than she could thread the spell together, and she sunk her fangs into her lower lip to keep from crying out as she pushed herself to her limits for a little longer before banishing the spell and staggering backwards, reaching out to lean on the edge of the computer terminal. "Okay.... not doing that again.... Oh Lords the walls aren't supposed to be moving like that.... are they?" 

~Ack!~ Mewtwo lunged forward to catch her when her knees buckled and used a push of psychic power to shove Inferno and Quickstrike out of the way, carrying her over to the Maximals before carefully setting her on the floor. ~Are you alright?~ 

"Dunno. Ask again later," she muttered as she sat so her back was against the wall, pulling her knees up under her chin and curling her arms around her legs, a low groan leaving her as she rested her forehead on her knees. _Oooh, that was so incredibly not a good idea._

"Did you get the readings?" Megatron frowned at Tarantulas when the spider didn't answer, apparently completely involved in reading over what he had learned from that little light show. "Tarantulas!" 

"I can't get anything done if you keep screaming at me like that!" the spider snapped, oblivious to the murderous glare the Predacon leader was now giving him as he turned back to the terminal, intrigued by what the scans were showing. "It's what I thought... You! Female! You're not even fully human, are you?" 

~Her name, is Lashana. And she's half-Elf, if you must know,~ Mewtwo told him as he moved so that he was standing between the recovering Lashana and the Predacons. ~Why?~ 

"Her biosignature is complicating things...." 

Duncan frowned. "Her what?" 

Dinobot glanced at him. "You'd understand it best as her 'aura'." 

"Oh." 

Rolling his eyes at the immortal's response, Mewtwo knelt next to the Elf and reached out to lightly rest a hand on the top of her head, extending a private tendril of thought as he did so. ~Lashana?~ 

_Nuugh?_

~Speak English.~ 

_That was English. I think._ She grimaced and rose her head from her arms, blinking dazedly for a moment before focusing on the Pokemon's worried gaze. _Did it work?_

~We don't know yet. Your aura apparently mucked up the readings,~ he murmured to her as he gently smoothed her hair back from her face, not liking the exhausted tint to her scent. ~How bad?~ 

_Very. Can't even magick up a Dynast Brass. I'm saving the energy in the talismans so we can get home. _The Elf sighed a little and slowly reached back to lean on the wall as she pushed herself to her feet, swaying unsteadily for a moment before catching her balance. "Where'd Zel go anyway? I don't think it's safe for him to be wandering around this place by himself." 

~Probably not. I'll go find him. You stay put, alright?~ 

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, _mother._ Geez..." Smirking, she glanced over at the Preds. "Yo. Megs. Can ya spare someone to help find Zel before he gets himself into troubl--" The sound of a muted explosion from the depths of the ship made the floor rock beneath them, and she sighed heavily at the wail of pain that followed. "Oh, nevermind." 

Tarantulas' optics widened as he brought up a schematic of the ship, the internal sensors locating where the explosion had occurred. "My old lab!! Argh! I swear, if he destroyed my experiments I'm going to...." 

Fangs bared, Lashana sent a scathing glare at him and hissed. 

He gulped. "....say nothing about it?" 

The Elf growled softly. "Good boy." 

Mewtwo chuckled. ~She sure has ways with the psychotics.~ 

Snorting, Rattrap looked up at the Pokemon and smirked. "That's because she _is_ one!" 

"I _heard_ that!" 

"...eep."   
  
  
  



End file.
